February 27, 2005

• I am going to try and post some pictures of myself and my family in New York City that we took today, it will come later or tomorrow after my husband edits them.
  
  I wanted to share a bit more of my spiritual history with you.

  
  

  When I married my husband I was a full-fledged pagan, and that was what attracted him to me. He was Catholic but not practicing. He did not start going to church until after our first son was born and he decided that he wanted to bring our children up Catholic.

  
  

  Now to be honest, I went to church with him at his insistence. I hated every moment of it, and for all that good that my attendance did, I got nothing out of church but learning how to kneel and stand and sit at the right moments and the hand gestures. Since crossing yourself was an occult practice, I had to unlearn the direction of the crossing and cross the correct way. But resentment did not make for much worship of God at all. In fact I can safely say that I only said the rote prayers, no heart behind them, no talking with God any other time. In fact I never gave God even a second of my spare time. I am sorry to say that I did not treat God with the kind of respect He deserved, and that I squandered so many years in my anger at God. If there was anything I could take back, this is one period of my life I wish I had used more wisely.

  
  

  Unfortunately, my husband did and does not have much patience with the rigamarole of dealing with religious ed classes, bad guided meditations, paper work, and keeping the kids up to date with the homework and prayers and practices, so that fell on my shoulders. I sat through so many meetings that literally drove me up a wall.

  
  

  During this time a priest convinced me to convert to Catholicism since I was learning about the stuff at the same times that the kids were. as I had been a Luthern it was not much of a stretch. So I did that to keep family as all one religion, but at that time I was still pew sitting and stewing.

  
  

  My husband, was literally the one who began to bring me back to church. During this time I sat through an atrocious Bible study given by the priest, which was more like a travel log of his trips around the Holy Land, not much about the Bible. A friend recommened her Friday Bible study. So I started going, and it was there that I met Pastor Don. I sat in on his study for about two years. The first year was the book of Romans. Let me tell you that when you are angry at God, Romans is a very difficult book to study.

  
  

  Sometimes in those two years, Pastor Don and I started talking. It took me two years of talking with him (not that he didn’t encourage me to say the sinner’s prayer) before I dared say the sinner’s prayer. I know that at times my posts still show doubt, and at times some sort of outrage for some things in my past, but compared to what it was like, it is very watered down now. Pastor Don promised me that he would be consistent with me, unlike those who hurt me so much in the past. He has been very consistent and loving. His wife and children show me that he is honest in his walk with the Lord, and he loves his wife and children very much. His consistency, and the fact that he never let the other shoe drop, finally began to penetrate some of the anger that I had. We started seriously going over things in my past. Fortunately Pastor Don is also a counselor, so a lot of garbage got cleared up, still more to go though. I began to see God in a very different light. The several times I have read through the Bible began to show me a God who is way more loving, and now I have a hunger to know him as Abba. Had Pastor Don attacked my beliefs directly I would have labeled him a hypocrite or worse and walked away. Instead he lovingly showed me in the Bible and through other literature exactly how satan tricked me in the ways that I was thinking and believing.

  
  

  After about two years I was able to say the sinner’s prayer and in obedience to God got baptized. Well, over time my life has changed dramatically, and I asked Pastor Don what should I do about my husband who is Catholic. My sister-in-law is born again and she, her husband, and kids are very confrontational with my husband about his faith. So much so that my husband started mocking born again’s. He stopped listening to them and ignored what they were saying. Not much fruit in that.

  
  

  Pastor Don told me to be an obedient wife, go to church with my husband, raise the kids as he directs and let my life be an example, but to not preach. So I continued Bible studies and when we moved from Romans into Corinthians and Galatians, I told my husband that the Bible says that he is the spiritual head of the family, and as such I must obey him, that Pastor Don says that a wife must submit to her husband. I realize that that is submission in the sense of the husband must love the wife the way Christ loves the church, but my husband then said, “I like this pastor.” When questions about religion came up, I turned them over to my husband, and he answered the kids very Biblically. Sometimes I would share something I learned at Bible study with my husband, but never in a preachy or condemning manner. Another year or so, and I kept inviting my husband to the Friday Bible studies, but never pushing, never preaching. Still went to mass with my husband, and just loved him. My husband came to Bible studies, and for over a year has consistently attended and insisted the kids attend. At some point he decided to do CD’s of the studies for people and Pastor Don mentioned Brother Jim’s CD ministry. Jim took it seriously and then found out that there was a Tuesday Bible study and has added that to his ministry. Last Tuesday Pastor Don lead the sinner’s  prayer and my husband prayed the prayer, not up at the altar, but standing by me in the first row of the church. I was so overjoyed.

  
  

  I spoke with my pastor recently and he told me that my husband is close to a breakthrough, to keep doing what I am doing (or not doing as it is) that the Holy Spirit is working mightily. My kids have all said the sinner’s prayer. Now my husband does not pray to statues, does not agree that Mary is to be worshipped, and is beginning to be upset with the fact that communion is only the bread, not the bread and wine. He has begun to look at things Biblically. I listen, but still make few comments, (he is the spiritual head of the family). Sometimes it is hard to do this, but at the same time I do not want to have to answer to God for putting a stumbling block of offense in front of my husband and driving him away. God is attracting him. I know it took me over two years before I could say the sinner’s  prayer, so I assume that it is fair that I wait for my husband.

  
  

  This said, there is a belief in some church circles that there are not many spirit filled Catholics. I beg to differ about that as I have met some. I think that in every church, even those claiming to be spirit filled, that not every member is spirit filled. They may act like they are, but only God knows their hearts. I think that in each and every church and tradition there are some believers that are spirit filled and that God is bridging the gap between churches and denominations and looking for people to worship him in Spirit and truth. Not necessarily any denomination. I would also venture to say that every single denomination has some traditions that have grown up with that denomination, and some misinterpretation of the Bible. I suspect we will never know the whole truth until our whole fleshly bodies are gone and we are before the throne. Then we will see the whole truth of God clearly, not through a glass darkly.

  
  

  As far as winning souls, I don’t think Jesus ever came point blank to a sinner or a mis-directed person in ire to convert them. Instead he loved them, led them, and gently ministered to them. The ones he came down hard on were the scribes and pharasises and priests who should have known better. Who should have recognized him as Messiah. Jesus won people over with love. That does not mean that he tolerated sin or wrong thinking, but at the same time, he enticed people through his parables and stories and his way of life to begin to become more aware of the truth. The truth is way more powerful than lies, and more souls are won with love than are ever won in debates, arguments and disrespect.

  
  

  This may not be a popular concept to some, and I have to say that for me and my situation the way I have been dealing with this is producing fruit. If confrontation produces fruit in another person, that is fine too.

  
  

  Now another statement that is shared is to not be unequally yoked. We studied that once in Bible study, and at one point my husband and I were unequally yoked when he was practicing his faith and I was fuming. The scales are shifting now, but I would never ever consider leaving my husband because of his beliefs. He is faithful, true, and a loving husband and father. I would rather fight by love to win him than to leave him because we disagree.

  
  

  There are so many Christian churches out there that believe that there is only one right and true way, their way. And all others are false. We have so many enemies that are not Christian that it saddens me to see that we tear each other apart. The enemies tear us apart and we sometimes cause more harm to each other than the enemy does to us. The enemy can sit back and watch us take pot shots at each other. Why not study and read the Word. The Spirit of God will lead us to truth as we keep pursuing Him. If we seek ways to teach and share in love I think a lot would be resolved.

  
  

  I wish I could be clearer on this, for I feel that I am not sharing all my thoughts on this. But I don’t know how to express more. I was saddened reading another site I used to subscribe to and saw such vitriolic anger at Catholics. And it was that kind of anger and animosity that caused me to realize that I wanted to let you know that I can’t feel that way, and why.

  
  

  Each is entitled to handle their situations the way they see fit, but I would suggest to check the fruit. If the fruit is salvation that is good, if it hardens a person’s heart and causes them to stop listening, perhaps a different tactic would be helpful if the real purpose is to reach the lost.

  
  

  Heather

  • 5:56 pm
  • 18 Comments