May 3, 2005
-
Tonight is Bible study and I am hoping to get notes transcribed for you either tonight or tomorrow. Tomorrow Katherine goes on her class field trip to Boston, sigh she has to be at school at 6 in the morning, which is about the time I normally get up.
So far, so good, I have been honest in my eating, and have not cheated. But the scales seem not to be budging as much as I hoped they would.
I seem to be battling depression these past few days, and can’t quite get it together to do the necessary things, it is a big struggle, and I haven’t even spent much time on Xanga. So I am sorry if I haven’t visited you the way I should. I think the depression is part of my self-defeating diet system.
Right now the morning woman’s study group is doing the book by Priscilla Shirer called He Speaks to Me. It is basic in some sense, but the basics dig deep and there is a lot of reflective questions. The videos are very well done and we have a great group of women so our group discussions are very intense.
The basic passage of the Bible that we are studying is the life of Samuel and the various characteristics that made him so ready to hear from God even when Eli the High Priest was not hearing from God. We just finished up week 3. Some of the characteristis was that Samuel was a child, and Jesus said that we had to come to Him as little children. This implies humility, trust, and simple belief. Mrs. Shirer has a little child and she compared the dependence her little son has for her, as the kind of dependence that we need for God, trusting that He will provide what all we need. But being like a child is NOT being childish.
She then pointed out in session two that Samuel was a worshipper. And that implies an intimacy with God. We need to be aware that all we do is for God’s glory, focuses on God’s priorities, It is easy to do this if we realize that God’s attributes of love, mercy, power and justice will come into play with all that he asks us to do.God redeems us even when we fall short of what His best for us is.
A third characteristic of Samuel is that he was set apart, sanctified and holy. She points out that there are three different kinds of sanctification, positional (when we first get saved), lifestyle (the choices we make to yield to the Holy Spirit in our lives) and ultimate (which is not on earth but when we face God’s presence). It is much easier to hold to sanctification if we remember God’s promises. It is not awesome to give in to our sinful inclinations for the moment, when God has such an awesome promise for us in the future. True freedom does not come from fleshly choices, but by choosing to obey God who has our best interests at heart.
Today the movie focused on the fact that Samuel was still. (even though it is week three, it is our fouth movie because you start out with an introductory movie). The idea being be still and know that I am God.
Why does God want us to sit down, we can’t hear him when we are so busy with our day to day lives, and God wants to give us blessings.
She spoke of the feeding of the 5,000 and pointed out that Jesus wanted the people to sit down in orderly fashing and then he fed those who WERE SEATED. If you weren’t seated you weren’t fed. If we want the void inside of ourselves to be filled we have to be seated to hear what God had to say. And there was a special purpose to this, God wanted us to be filled and to trust Him. There is a special Place – they sat in the green grass (reminds you of the 23rd Psalm), and there was a special power. For it is IN HIM that we gain our substance.
She pointed out that God will not shout over our noise,.
But the thought that she spoke that blew me away is that Jesus did not feed them until they were hungry, then he had them sit down. Sometimes we do not sit and wait on God until there is a need, a void to be filled.
I keep hoping that God does not have to wait until I am desperate to reach out to him. And today I realized that I was doing what I usually do when I am depressed, which is to withdraw not only from people, but also from God.
Please pray that this passes, and that I can begin to be more myself.
I am hoping you are having an awesome day.
Heather
Comments (14)
What you mentioned about Christ wanting us to come as children…I just did a screening of the film Finding Neverland with the youth group that I lead…we spoke about this same idea…there was a really neat quote from Dustin Hoffman (an actor in the film) pertaining to the message it contains….and, I think it presents great insight into this matter as well:
“Get older, gain maturity, become an adult. But, by all means, never, never, never grow up.”
I will be praying for you as you deal with the depression…that you will be moved “out of this darkiness and into his marvelous light!”
I’m praying. God bless.
All the more reason to clear some of the stuff out of our schedules…
I am with you Heather. More chips and chocolate in these past two weeks then I’d care to admit.
Keep it up though. You may not see results now, but you will. And I’m sure you know it’s healthier to lose weight slowly, and also easier to keep off when done that way. Also, don’t always rely on the scale, especially if you start to incorporate excercise into your new healthy lifestyle. A tape measure once a month is a powerful thing, especially when the scale says you lost nothing or *gasp* even gained a few ounces, but the ruler says that you lost an inch or two (you have to add the fractions of an inch together in all the right places, not just the waist, to get the full effect). Since muscle is more dense than fat, you can gain weight through excercise and still lose fat, which in the end is the whole point. Also a healthy person is supposed to drink 8 8oz glasses of water a day. It is good to add an extra glass for every 25lbs of extra weight.
I know, I know … physician heal thyself. I’ve noticed about myself that when I cut carbs and fat (comfort foods), I become more moody, and my depression really kicks in. I am not a good person to be around when I’m trying to lose weight. But this shows just how addictive food is. The hardest part about this addiction as opposed to others is that I can’t quit cold-turkey and just suffer through a painful, yet temporary, withdrawl. Mind if we do an exchange? I’ll pray for you and you pray for me? *and I’ll get to Scotland afoooore ye* Sorry. Lost it for a second there.
Heather hang in there sweets…………….its a long road to weight loss…cutting my carbs and fats was alot of my biggest thing and SODAS and sugar..I replaced sugar with SPLENDA and became a vegetarian……..no MEAT except FISH………….well…I know most people wont do like I DID ….but it was fairly easy and I was feeling depression too and that I go through at times because it comes with my meds and disease…but I am on an antidepressant….which has helped me……..Lexapro………so I AM praying now that I can take that away and be free from it with no depressive effects…………….
MAY GOD HELP YOU LIGHT YOUR PATH……….through this time……
Take care and God bless you……..praying for you……………..
I think sometimes we feel depressed cause we feel like we “have” to do something. Tell yourself you “want” to do this and ask Jesus for more grace. He’s your Helper!!!
love you, girl, and will be praying for you….
Ya know, I was rummaging around, reading an old post of yours, seeing how far you’ve come and I just wanted to tell you that I admire you. You’ve been through so much and yet you still keep going. You still keep seeking His face. I have to tell you that if walking in His ways becomes easy, and we’re not suffering some kind of persecution for it, then we’re stalled out. Being a believer is never going to be easy. You just have to get up the next day and make that decision to seek Him. It’s a daily walk and I am so encouraged by seeing yours. Keep going hon!
Oh…I hope you are feeling better soon. It’s no fun feeling down…
Heather, thank you so much for you comment. I definently needed that, and it is appreciated.
You’re in my prayers. I pray you find joy in Jesus and your depression is taken away. <><
Praying for you.
RYC – God doesn’t give us a command without giving us the grace (power) to achieve it. Amen, I agree. But I would add as I said on my post, that God doesn’t force us to obey Him, but gives us the free will to choose to obey Him. I think alot of christians make the mistake of thinking that God will do everything for them. God bless.
I would suggest reading Breaking Free by Beth Moore.The whole book (I did the biblestudy) is about breaking free from strongholds in our life,and living a life free with Christ.Its an excellent study,that makes you look at your past,what it is we hold onto that keeps us from living victoriously in Christ.I am doing a study now called Living Free,its a 6 week course,based on that book.You can get it from Amazon. Take a look at it,there might be a synopsis of it on amazon,to give you an idea. Your loved Heather,chin up!
A more important “feeding” than that of the 5,000 was the spiritual feeding from the sermon on the mount. Jesus saw the multitudes and drew away higher on the mountain and when he sat (an indication he was about to teach) only the disciples came to him. In the feeding of the 5,000 everyone was fed physically but not spiritually. The food came to them. In the feeding of the disciples not everyone received, but only those who recognized that Christ had something to impart and they had to go to him.
Seek God with all your heart. He has something for you.
And, yes, the nice thing about cacti is they’re hard to kill…..
But they can also be pretty. The Saguaros (the ones with the arms) are starting to bloom!
Withdrawing from God when feeling depressed is a natural reaction when we don’t like what he’s doing/not doing in our lives. I read something that really helped me change my focus on ForHisGlory2 xanga site posted sun. May 01,2005. Check it out….I found it uplifting and encouraging….maybe you will too. Keep seeking His face.