April 13, 2005

• Thank you for your continued prayers. There is no change in my husband’s behavior toward his health, but I have been working hard to turn things over to God. I still snatch them back, but I guess this is something one must learn over time.

  
  

  I was surprised last night at a Girl Scout leader’s annual dinner by receiving an honors pin. This is an award given for someone who is good at being a leader, who helps out a lot not only in scouting but also in the community. It was an honor, and I had no idea that I was going to be given it. They said that not only am I committed to the girls, but I also am a trainer of the adults, and have taught in project GO, and help out in the schools, etc. I do it out of love but receiving an award was nice.

  
  

  Have been reading Mark 10 about blind Bartimaeus. This incident of healing has come up often in my spiritual journey for it holds things on many levels for me.

  
  

  The first time I came across it was during a late night radio sermon by Steve Solomon, when he talked about the faith Bartimaeus (B) had, when he dropped the beggar’s cloak and went toward’s Jesus. Being blind and in a crowd there would have been no way for him to return to the cloak, so he went forward with faith and expectancy to receive his Healing from Jesus. And that it is with faith that Jesus’ power works.

  
  

  Another time I heard the B story from Beth Moore. She talked about the various cloaks we wear that describe our crippledness. For example, adultry, drug abuse, abortion, bankruptcy, failure, depression, divorce, etc. Whatever the labels are that we put onto ourselves or that society labels us with, and that we are covered by Jesus who removes our cloaks and heals us. I have so many I am surprised that I am not hunchbacked. Too many cloaks, too many hurts, and the need to remove them. I also tend to hide behind some of these and use them to fend off Jesus as well. sigh.

  
  

  Today I heard a teaching that suprised me. Jericho was a city that was very popular at the time of Jesus, it was well travelled for it was a stopover, bridging sort of place between Europe and Africa.

  
  

  The first time we hear of this city is in the Old Testiment (OT) with Joshua. Now Joshua is a Hebrew equivalent of the name Jesus and there is a comparison made between the two.

  
  

  Joshua                                                                                  Jesus

  
  

  Joshua crossed over the Jordan to begin                              Began his ministry in the Jordan being baptised
  his ministry.                                                                         by John the Baptist.

  
  

  The ministry was prepared by the                                      John the Baptist prepared the way for Jesus.
  prophet Moses for Joshua.

  
  

  Joshua circled the walls of Jerico                                        Jesus led the followers into the city to salvation
  and brought them down with a shout.                                 to help the hurting. The followers told B not
                                                                                               to shout.

  
  

  When Joshua was fighting the Amorites                             B. shouted and the SON stood still (V.49)
  he prayed that the SUN would stand still
  for he knew he would be defeated if
  darkness came.

  
  

  So the question is, how do we get the SON to stand still.

  
  

  1. We cry out in humility. Not asking why, or accusing God, but asking for God’s mercy. Now I am not good at this for I keep seeking the why’s and trying to solve things in my own power, trying to sort things out. Fearful of trusting God’s mercy which is so foolish because God saved me from so much, that why should I doubt his mercy in the day to day stuff I am facing, including my husband.

  
  

  2. He cried out tenaciously. I tend to pray and then back off. Often in the scriptures there is a delay between the prayer and the response. Once an angel was delayed by the Prince of Persia, and Pastor Don often says that if we give up on praying too soon we may lose the blessing. I tend to give up because I think I do not go into the prayer really expecting God to answer. I still am haunted by the silence of God when I was 8, and so I assume that maybe I am not on God’s priority list or something.

  
  

  3. Crying expectantly. B dropped his cloak and walked to Jesus expecting his healing. I have a hard time expecting things. I am so afraid of being disappointed and often feel that my faith would not stand disappointement. So I am afraid of losing what little faith I have.

  
  

  Why is it so hard to get into my head the image of God as a good father, who cares for me. I keep being haunted by the bad images of father, of self-serving interests, of attention by the father meaning hurt for me. Sometimes lessons are so hard to learn.

  
  

  Hope you have a blessed day, and thank you for keeping on praying. I really do need your prayers, and need to sort out this depression.

  
  

  Heather

  • 1:17 pm
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