March 17, 2005
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Saw the most awesome movie last night at my woman’s Bible study. It was called John in Exile and it held us riveted to the end. I highly recommend it.
Heather
Have to share these that my sister-in-law sent me. I cracked up:
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you’ve
forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
that
morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.
Comments (11)
I haven’t had a laugh so early in the morning before. Those are soooo funny….
Got’s to love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for the laugh I needed that
i agree, heather. finding a good one is hard. also, there is a little bit of “founder’s disease” in every church. it’s a little bit easier in new churches than in well established ones, but the shadow’s are there. it’s human nature. only those who are sensitive to the Supernature are able to break away from that tendency, though….to the degree to which they are tapped into Him.
yes, solo workers are in great peril of arrogance, contempt, disdain, error, immaturity. balance. God uses both the local church and the individual.
tough road to follow….
Posted 3/17/2005 at 6:26 AM by lindalinsley – delete
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we need a little more of the Supernature in our lives today. we need a wakeup call. we are missing the point………………..
and just as the pharisees and temple worship was done away with in 70-72ad, so also can God do away with those who stand in His way. if men are quiet, the rocks will cry out…..or a donkey.
also, i love the stupid humor!!!!!!!!! consider it joinked!
Hey! You’re so very welcome! Too often there are people trying to tear us down and as sisters in Christ we are to lift eachother up. I just hope I can continue to do that. And btw, thank you for always leaving such nice and polite comments on my site as well. I’ve noticed that you leave such polite and eloquent comments on all the sites I’ve seen you on. Keep going! (I love your post today! It was soooo funny!) Have a blessed day and come back anytime!
ROFLOL that was hilarious! I’ve seen the last one before, I still enjoy reading it
LOL very nice. Worthy of my Dad’s xanga. Think he may have sent me that in an email once. LOL
Happy Birthday to your daughter!!!
And best wishes to you on being surrounded by teens!
Oh Heather that was sooo funny….I read those out loud to my husband and daughter and we had a good laugh…Mark has had his share of funny stuff while doing depositions and beingt in court…so this was really funny to us…
Thanks for the after dinner entertainment! haha……………
That makes my day!
That was funny – really made me laugh!!!
I think I’ve read these before, and this time I laughed until I cried. Thanks, I needed that!