January 3, 2005
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Have been doing a Kay Arthur study on Revelation, and looking at Jesus’ messages to the churches. It has brought to mind a few things.
A dream I had were I was brought to a room, a chapel, and told to pray for the seven chruches. That is why I am studying this, so that I know what to pray.
A lecture I heard by Beth Moore, where she had people sit on the stage in roped off areas, each area represented a different denomination: Catholic, Baptist, Non-denominational-Protestant, etc. And there were women sitting in each roped off area. Beth Moore said that in each of the churches the Holy Spirit is moving and touching a few people in the church. Not all are touched by the Holy Spirit (even in a spirit-filled church) not all are touched. And at some point God will raise up the spirit filled people and they will reach across denominational borders to do the work of the spirit. And then the artificial boundaries of denominations will be gone.
Each denomination thinks that they have the right handle on truth, and I suspect that each denomination has a lot of truth and some not truth in their thinking. We are humans, in the flesh, and we are so striving towards what God is really saying. I suspect that we all see the scriptures with cloudy mirrors, and strive to see more clearly.
In the study of Revelation, Jesus talked to the churches and he gave commendations, and reproofs. I have been struck by how each of us is in essence part of all of the seven churches for Christ says that he who has ears to hear, let him hear what the spirit says to the churches (plural).
Ephesus: You have left your first love.
Oh, how I often wonder if I have done that in the short time that I have been a Christian. Some things that were so special, I take for granted. For me, though the opposite seems true, I seem to be trying to figure out how to love Jesus, how to let Jesus love me. There is passion at times, but a lot of the time I also draw back in fear. Love is a problem for me.
Smyrna: No reproof for that church. That would be awesome to be one that Christ found no reproof for. They were suffering much in their lifestyle, and they did not bend under the blasphemy of those surrounding them. They were poor in the flesh, but rich in the spirit. I still am at times swayed by the world around me and have to strive harder to resolve that.
Pergamum: Some hold to the teaching of Balaam and kept teaching Balak to put stumbling blocks before the sons of Israel. They ate things sacrificed to idols, committed acts of immorality, and some held to the way of the Niolatioans (who were sort of an agnostic form of Christianity)
Well, I did this before I became a Christian, and have done immoral things in my day, and certainly sacrificed to idols. Even today there are still idols in my life. Not pagan ones, but roots of bitterness, anger, and a lot of self-hate. The idols have changed, but I am praying to resolve that.
Thyatira: Tolerated Jezebel, led astray by her to commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. These people did a lot of good deeds, and some of their deeds were greater than at first, but how easy it is to get caught up in what is a false teaching. To give in a bit, to cast a blind eye to something that is wrong. But it can also be to be so pharasitical that you cause dissention as well. I pray that whatever I do in my church, it does not do anything to drive a wedge between anyone and God, by action or word, or inaction. I want to act out of love, not be a clanging gong or clashing cymbal.
Sardis: You have a name that you are alive but you are dead. How easy it is to put on an outward appearance of spirituality, do all the right actions and moves, but inwardly you are dead.
Sometimes I think that I am dead inside, that I have never once given all to Jesus, there is always reserve. I do not pretend on the outside to be what I am not, but I am still sort of spiritually dead inside, but there are buds. I just keep hoping that the Spirit of God keeps watering those buds. Just once I would love to be alive in the spirit, and filled with joy.
Philadelphia: No reproof – they had a little power, and Christ gave them an open door that none could shut. They did not deny His name in the face of great adversity. I don’t know if I am that bold in Christ yet, but that comes from feeling so inferior, that my sins make some statements hypocritical. I guess I have to work harder at believing that I am a new creation under Christ.
Laodicea: Lukewarm, Christ wants to spit them out, they feel rich and need nothing, but they are poor, naked, and miserable.
I don’t think I am lukewarm, but sometimes I feel that way, kind of inbetween, torn between reaching out and withdrawing. I need so much refinement from God that it isn’t funny.
Oh, how I hope that one day I can measure up to a point where Christ can say well done, good and faithful servant. But that seems almost an impossible dream.
Got to go and kiss daughter good night.
Thanks for listening,
Heather
Comments (14)
Kay Aurthor is very good !
Thanx for visiting me and subscribing to my weblog. I hope you find encouragement in my writing !
About this comment…
(((( I still haven’t fully healed from the hurts, and don’t know if I could let Him that close.))))
It took many years and much heartache to get my where I am in my faith. I completely understand where you are coming from when you say this. Here are a few links to post I have made how God delt with me (and still deals with me) on this issue.
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=traceoffaith&tab=weblogs&uid=56042361
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=traceoffaith&tab=weblogs&uid=56249767
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=traceoffaith&tab=weblogs&uid=56266225
I hope and pray that you have your breakthrough soon ! I have this feeling deep down in my spirit that big things are going to happen for God’s people in 2005 !
thank you for sharing that. (((hug))) I need a breakthrough, healing and so much more.
I absolutely agree that God will bring a remnant out of all denominations by his Spirit. What will make the end times so difficult and deceptive is that there will also be counterfeits of unity. Even now we hear the world calling for tolerance and unity, but may I suggest caution when listening to these calls. The apostle Paul said to “test the spirits”. He didn’t say test what you hear for accuracy, though we need to do that. He said to test the spirit from which something comes. I think the unity that is coming in a last great revival will be a unity that is maintained by the spirit and not the organization efforts of man. It will be a revival that will cause us to intercede for believers we have never met, but for times in prayer will seem closer than family. It will be a revival of worship even when there is no music to rev us up. It will be a revival of the Word of God where a simple sermon heard a thousand times will penetrate our very soul. It will be a revival of power where the works of God will be on display.
On the other hand, there will be the counterfeit. They will say all the right words in the right order. They will draw tremendous crowds. There will be glowing testimonies, there may even be real miracles, but in the end they will only fulfill the words of Jesus “In the last days many will come in my name, saying here is the Christ”. See there are many Christ’s already being taught, but there is only one Christ, Jesus Christ as revealed in the Word of God. It is in him that we need to place our trust.
Oh Jewrish, You are in my thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate your kind comments.
Trace, thanks for your post. I have read your links and they are helpful, giving much food for thought.
Hagana, thanks for sharing.
Heather
Wonderful, thoughtful post. I so agree that God is using people in all the different churches and some day the artificial divides will be torn down. Your post blessed me as did your honesty. blessings on your life. lala
Loved that comparison to your life and the churchs in Revelation. You are blessing so many people with your honesty and your searching.
I can tell you right now that you are not luke warm. The fact that you are searching puts you clear of that category. There are so many out there that think they have it made with God. They just cruise along with their churchy cliches and yet have no passion to know God better, have no drive to worship and be thankful for the sacrifice that Christ made for us. Those are the ones that God wants to spit out, not the ones who are broken, yes, but searching.
I also loved the anaolgy about sin and chocolate milk! That is great, I will have to remember that.
Keep searching and may you keep the hope of healing and wonder and joy of life before you…
And remember there is no timetable for healing. It comes as it comes…
“Praise the LORD , O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
Psalm 103:2-5
Love it – and the way so many are responding to you.
Be encouraged as others are by you.
Do you like New York? (I just noticed heh)
Ah, indeed. Haha. His sureness does do more wrong than good, but eh. He’s not the first I’ve had rage at me.
Thank you for the comment and the sweet words. That makes sense about the post, as well. I’m not sure what to advise but I’m sure you’ll come up with something. I won’t go anywhere so feel free to do whatever feels right for you. Thanks again. I love you too. ::hugs::
Yes. I am in upstate New York, about an hour away from Hunter Mountain. It is beautiful up here, not like New York City where we used to live before we had kids.
I figure I will wait and see, entries can be blocked and deleted if necessary.
Love
Heather
Dear Ms Tiggy Winkle, thanks so much for your encouragement. Thank you for saying that I am not lukewarm. I just feel so not fully worshipping Christ, that I feared that was lukewarm. My spirit is so torn and crushed that I feel that I am unable to really do any real love of Jesus. I try, but feel like I botch it.
A friend of mine shared a devotional about Christ cleaning her off. In this vision she had, she was going to be married and had no dress. Christ gave her the dress. Then she tried on her own to cross the street, and fell into a mudpile. Christ came and cleaned the mud off the dress and walked her to the church for the wedding. There was the Father at the altar waiting to receive her.
I sometimes look at pictures that people draw to portray closeness to Christ. I would be afraid that it would not be meant for me. Remember the Push-me; Pull-you in Dr. Doolittle. I think that I must drive God crazy, wanting closeness and yet fearing closeness. I would be afraid to reach out for fear that He wouldn’t reach back, or worse yet, turn His back.
When I was about 10 I remember being assigned to write two stories. One that I wrote was a comparison of God to an industrial clock. You know one of those clocks with a second hand that sweeps around. I decided that there were people who stopped and paused at places in other’s lives (the minute hand), others that swept by so quickly that they barely made an impression (the second hand). I had decided that God was like the hour hand – never touching the people at all. I guess it was good he was still on the clock.
The other story I wrote was about a little boy who was building sand castles. His parents came out and said, “That is nice Johnny, but this one ball is too close to the sun, and no life can occur, this one is too far away. Only one will be able to sustain life.” Then his parents told him to come inside, little Johnny went inside, washed his hands, and never came back to that sand pile. I guess now that I know about Christ, this analogy doesn’t work, because why would God have sent his son if He wasn’t going to come back. But at 10 I had the feeling that God had walked away from the face of the earth.
I begged God, I bargained with God, I pleaded, and there was no response. I think it would have been comforting to have at least felt comfort. But then again, maybe that would have torn down defenses. I just don’t know.
Teelow, thanks for being supportive. I need that now, as I struggle so.
Heather
Wow – just caught hagana’s post – right on
Hello,
Glad you stopped by.
A few things you said hit a nerve … “strive herder;” “work harder”. Sometimes that feeling of helplessness comes because we try to do it on our own rather than just let God’s love work its way through us. I know this all too well. Also the stories you mention above, the fear that God has rejected us … Jesus lived on earth and experienced all the pain, sorrows, and joys as we experience them, even worse since He had come from something much better to begin with. He knows what it is to feel as if God is rejecting you. On the cross He cried out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” He tortured Himself even more by taking a deep enough breath that He could shout it out for all to hear. He wanted everyone to know He felt it. But in the end, the Father did not abandon Him or forsake Him, but raised Him from the dead. These words also begin the 22nd Psalm of David. It is a beautiful Messianic prophesy of the crucifixion and resurrection. It is also a psalm filled with hope for one who is suffering some sort of pain as it is about being afflicted yet ends in glorifying and praising God.
Peace be to you sister.
Dear snowberryoxcream thanks. You are right, I keep trying to “help” God, or do in my own strength. That is a hard habit to break. I keep trying to work through that, and I guess I was so used to being in control to survive that it isingrained. It is a hard one to break.
I love your site, and I think you for visiting here.
Curious how you picked your nick.
Heather