November 15, 2007
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Rejection and Betrayal by Ellen Raimondo
I went to a woman’s luncheon at Glory Oasis Fellowship, 1903 Route 44, Pleasant Valley, New York. The speaker was Ellen Raimondo. She told us that, besides the Bible, she used two source books Dealing with Rejection and the Praise of Man by Bob Sorge, and God’s Remedy for Rejection by Derek Prince.
We have all faced rejection, whether it is hurtful words, negative attention, malicious assault, being ignored or any other form of rejection. The pain is real and rejection is at the root of many problems like substance abuse, rebellion, depression, divorce, poverty, child abuse, abnormal behavior, unwanted pregnancy, etc.
God created us to feel accepted and we fight to maintain emotional closeness. Rejection wounds our minds, and often we refuse to focus on the rejection we are feeling, but we know it is there.
Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken
Proverbs 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?
Pain is compounded with broken trust, and it becomes betrayal. People then say that that is the last time that they will let another person hurt them. They build protective walls that trap them into a pattern of behavior that turns into a vicious circle. For they protect their outward self, and from that position they react to people in ways that end up making other people reject them again, which causes them to build up the protective wall. And the vicious cycle is formed.
When you think about the negative it only aggravates the situation even more. Anger can be used to protect the heart. What is really needed is the Lord’s protection. There is no defense against love. Nothing else but love will work. Ask God to help you forgive and replace your walls with the Lord’s walls to protect you. Learning to respond well to rejection is a process.
We read Psalm 51:6 in two translations, NKJV Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. and in the Amplified Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.
When you confess to God your anger and disappointment, and ask Him to forgive your ungodly anger, His grace will cleanse you. Knowing the truth about a relationship frees you from bondage to it. The Lord knows your inner pain because Jesus also experienced pain and rejection.
Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
John 1:11 He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him.
John 15:18 If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.
Even if you are perfect (and only Jesus was perfect), you still can experience rejection. The more you become like Jesus, the more the world will reject you.
Philippians 3:7-11 NKJV But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. We also read this passage in the Amplified But whatever former things I had that might have been gains to me, I have come to consider as [one combined] loss for Christ’s sake. Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One), And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law’s demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith. [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].
Paul wanted to share in Jesus’ sufferings. King David was rejected – after he was anointed to be king, Saul rejected him, chasing him around the country trying to kill him – his own family never bothered to call David in from the field when Samuel came looking for a kingly person to anoint. His brothers mocked David when he came to bring food to them, saying that he was abandoning his duties as shepherd to have a glimpse at the battle. 1 Samuel 17:28 Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.” David’s wife mocked David when he danced unashamedly before the Lord, and even his children plotted against Him. How did he process this? David would go to his secret place and worship and praise God.
Bob Sorge says that Jesus is like Jeremiah. Jeremiah 15:10 AMP Woe is me, my mother, that you bore me to be a man of strife and a man of contention to the whole earth! I have neither loaned, nor have men loaned to me, yet everyone curses me.
Jeremiah 15:19 AMP Therefore thus says the Lord [to Jeremiah]: If you return [and give up this mistaken tone of distrust and despair], then I will give you again a settled place of quiet and safety, and you will be My minister; and if you separate the precious from the vile [cleansing your own heart from unworthy and unwarranted suspicions concerning God's faithfulness], you shall be My mouthpiece. [But do not yield to them.] Let them return to you–not you to [the people].
Jeremiah had an awesome calling, but the price tag was rejection. The full impact of his rejection did not happen all at once. Even Jesus felt rejection that increased, and He asked His disciples, “Who do men say that I am?” Jeremiah has earned a crown for His obedience, so has Jesus.
We may not see the results of our obedience in our lifetime – but our children’s children’s children will. And in eternity we will celebrate our faith.
God will permit rejection in our lives to train us up to be leaders. We need to maintain our hearts in humility and keep humble. Rejection is good for doing that.
Instead of struggling, give thanks to God. and pray that He lets us understand the reason for what is going on in our lives.
Luke 22:28 But you are those who have continued with Me in My trials.
When Jesus was rejected by all – by Judas, by the people that He came to, and even by the disciples during his trial, he never took offense or protected himself, and He was never ruined in his soul by the rejection. He would pray to God and get renewed.
The acceptance of the Father can help bring contentment in the face of trials. We are fueled on the inside with His love. Then we can give His love to others regardless of what they are doing to us. He will raise us up as we give His love and obey His word.
This teaching came as a word in season for me. I love it when God is working, but I have to be honest and tell you that pruning hurts.
Have a blessed day,
Heather
Comments (16)
Boy this sure ministered to my broken heart. See, it’s a really very long, detailed story but in a nutshell, our older daughter TOTALLY rejected us after a lifetime of nothing but love, acceptance and devotion from both her dad, younger sister and me. Sure, we made mistakes, but nothing that warrented her walking out of our home, cutting us out of her life and legally emancipating herself from us. She left home two years ago when she was just about to turn 18. And that rejection has just totally devistaed us. We have tried to pick up the pieces and move on (though we all see her and her “new family” almost every time we are out….and we aren’t acknowleged at all by them) but the pain sometimes is just gutwrenching. This post really helps remind me of what God’s been saying to my heart. It doesn’t make the situation any easier to bear, it doesn’t solve anything, but it just let’s me know that God will help me endure each day. Thank you for posting it. I’m going to copy and paste it in my file so I can look back at it when I need to. Thanks,,,God bless you and have a great Friday.
30 YEARS!!!!! Let’s see,,,,I will be 79 and my husband will be 82 if she waits thirty years to reconcile. Oh my!!!!! LOLOLOL…we would be so very old…wouldn’t be able to hear or see by then. Thanks for the encouragement though…let’s hope it doesn’t take that long. I’ll be lucky if my hubby lives till retirement if his job doesn’t kill him first LOL. God bless. And there’s more Scooter tales to come.
Thanks for stopping by, Heather, and sharing my joy…I am sorry that my time on xanga has been so limited. These past four-and-a-half months have been incredibly difficult and filled with many challenges. Our little Lucy has brought great joy to our lives in the midst of our great sorrow…God bless you and thank you for faithfully posting HIS Word for all to read. I have no doubt that God is using you in a mighty way. With much love, Paula
((( Heather ))) How are you? God bless you dear one.
[God will permit rejection in our lives to train us up to be leaders. We need to maintain our hearts in humility and keep humble. Rejection is good for doing that.]
Amen. Good word. Ryc about reading that chapter 20 times. Wow, that’s very impressive!
larry
RYC: Absolutely! Forgiveness never absolves the perpetrator of his moral culpability. It is designed to set the forgiver free. Great comment.
[i]Knowing the truth about a relationship frees you from bondage to it.[/i]
Heather, can you talk more about this? Do you think this applies to all relationships or only those that are “toxic”?
[i]Jeremiah had an awesome calling, but the price tag was rejection. The full impact of his rejection did not happen all at once. Even Jesus felt rejection that increased, and He asked His disciples, “Who do men say that I am?” Jeremiah has earned [i]a crown for His obedience, so has Jesus.[/i]
I’m listening, Heather.
We may not see the results of our obedience in our lifetime – but [b]our children’s children’s children will.[/b] And in eternity we will celebrate our faith.[/i]
Still listening and being heartened/challenged
[i]God will permit rejection in our lives to train us up to be leaders. We need to maintain our hearts in humility and keep humble. Rejection is good for doing that.[/i]
Yes. Perfect timing/posting-again.
[i]Instead of struggling, give thanks to God. and pray that He lets us understand the reason for what is going on in our lives.
Luke 22:28 But you are those who have continued with Me in My trials.[/i]
Thank you, Heather.
okay, my tags didn’t work to make things bold/italic. argh.
Rejection is going to happen in life because we are fallen man and at times flesh wins the battle. We all hurt and get hurt in this life. Thank God He never rejects us and He repairs and restores when we have all fallen short… Blessings….
This is sooo true! Another thing that really comforted me during times of rejection is that God keeps His own and He won’t let anything happen unless He can use it for good! As long as I knew those things, I could accept His strength.
RYC – yes we think God has something to say to her on this trip and we believe it will be a blessing for her more than anything. She is going to bless others but God always seems to turn it around so the giver gets blessed even more.
Thank you, Heather– for this post, for all the encouraging comments you leave me. You are precious.
A really great blog. Rejection is a fact of life for everyone. Trying to overcome the negative is truly key.
Great post about rejection in light of the comment you made that the things in this world will get world…
Very timely, my family has done it to me for five years now and i have to forgive constantly and know Jesus is my healer.. have a blessed Thanksgiving
.
I think there is a difference between not trusting your betrayers and not trusting other people because you were betrayed by someone else. I’ve learned NEVER to trust anything my betrayers say to me or my friends — they still have an agenda in some ways — because it’s healthy to wipe the dust off my shoes and move on with those particular people.
But I have learned how not to let that feeling encroach onto any other good friendships with people who haven’t (and wouldn’t) ever betray me. It is being wise as a serpent, but gentle as a dove.