August 9, 2006

• Some of you have been following the secret correspondence between Buzz and Rocky the Wonder Dog. If you haven’t read the previous posts, here is the link.

  
  

  http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?tab=weblogs&user=wondering04&uid=494437026

  
  

  We heard that Buzz had an allergic reaction to his rabies booster shot, his back got infected and he had to have 137 stitches. He is well now, but it makes it difficult for our neice to put him in a kennel because you can’t kennel a dog without a rabies booster. We had never heard of an allergic reaction before.

  
  

  Anyway, we intercepted some secret correspondence between the two dogs and thought we would share it.

  
  

  Dear Rocky The Wonder Dog,

  
  

   

  
  

  How are you doing in this hot weather?  I watch the news a lot and it seems most of the weather we have comes to you a couple days later which is why I know you must be very hot!  But, good news for you, cooler weather is coming, I promise.  I’m even sending some very good scents along on this cold front just for you.  Turn your nose west young man, smell west.

  
  

   

  
  

  Thank you for your concern about my surgeries.  I no longer like the vet but the drugs are wonderful.  Mom says it’s good that I’m finally contributing to the home.   Anyway, today I had a very good day.  I got my stitches out a week ago, all 137 of them (no amount of drugs is worth that…).  With that over, this morning I finally got to play Frisbee, which you know is the Nirvana for all serious Labs.  Then! I got to take a bath, which isn’t usually my favorite but after two very stinky months it was pure bliss.  Top that off with a long nap in my favorite place and a belly full of lamb ‘n rice and life is good again, very good. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Hope you are equally blessed but if not here’s the number to your local ASPCA (XXX-XXX-XXXX)–running away is also always an option…

  
  

   

  
  

  Love From Your Cousin,

  
  

  Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue

  
  

   

  
  

  And here is Rocky’s Reply:

  
  

   

  
  

  
  

  Dear Buzz Lightyear to the Resue,

  
  

   

  
  

  Rocky, The Wonder Dog here.

  
  

   

  
  

  Sorry to hear about all your medical problems. 137 stitches! Ugh! Uncle Mike was at my homestead this past Sunday and he said your tumors might have been caused by your anti-rabies shots. Terrible how these bipeds can come up with chemicals and say that they are medicines. Don’t forget that these bipeds are the fallen ones – we had nothing to do with that whole episode. By extension, we should have no need for their so called “medicines.” Just stick with eating good food. Your lamb dish sounds good. Maybe a bite of a postal worker might be a good desert – just don’t tell Uncle Mike I said that!

  
  

   

  
  

  How did you handle those 137 stitches? My feeder tells me he had more than that many stitches when he had his infamous birthmark operation, and the doctors had to resew his skin graft on his arm after it broke free. Without anesthesia he says he was sweating in places he didn’t know you could sweat from. My feeder takes very good care of me. Once a year he has me place my paw prints on my HMO plan which he devised just for me. I’m not much of a reader of English, so the only part of the plan I can remember is the title, “Do Not Resuscitate.”

  
  

   

  
  

  Thanks for sending your pictures. Here is a shot of me hanging out in my hanging out spot. A little above my head, in this 2-dimensional representation of reality, is one of my dear friends. Just a little pun there. If you look closely you can see my blue water bowl and my gray feed bowl. I love my gray feed bowl. It is a lovely bowl. In fact, periodically, I eat the bowl itself, because I don’t get enough food! I’m starving. You can see my RIBS. A couple of years ago a sadist named Becky came by for a visit and said I was overweight. She convinced my feeder to start starving me. Meantime, all these bipeds all around me keep getting heavier and heavier. I think they are eating my feed when I can’t see them!

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Here is another picture of me on my vacation. I don’t know what the word vacation means. Seems that all that happened was that I got to go to the post office and got to sit in a hot car. I guess I was protecting the car. It would be easier for me to protect the car if my feeder didn’t leave the keys in the ignition.

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Bonus TIME!  Here is a picture of a postal worker! POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL! You can hang this picture on your wall and have fantasies about chasing him! Actually this is just Uncle Mike showing us how he can use a crossbow. (David is behind Uncle Mike so he doesn’t get shot.)  Uncle Mike is wearing an interesting shirt proclaiming him to be “The World’s Greatest Grandpa.” The paw prints on the front look just like your paw prints. Ruff! If Uncle Mike is your Grandpa – and he’s my Uncle, then – no, that is just too weird! Let’s not go there!

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  Thanks again for sending your pictures. Are you really that BIG? Maybe you could make your pictures fit the e-mail a little better by using Photoshop Elements, or even Microsoft Paint, to reduce their byte size. Again, keep those pictures coming, and send some food if you can.

  
  

   

  
  

  Rocky, The Wonder Dog.

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 12:14 am
  • 14 Comments