Month: July 2006


  • Well, dog sitting has its advantages. All the family is out on Long Island fishing, and I got to stay home and take care of the dog – no kennel was available. Sooooo you might ask what does one do with time and no kids or husband, just me alone time. I did not spend it alone but had an incredible day.


    First I went to a Prayer for our City – where all the area churches gathered to pray for the needs of our city. Last year about this time a Neo-Nazi group wanted to protest in the city, it caused a lot of fear in the area, the group did their thing with little attention, and no problems. Why no problems? The area churches got together and prayed and united, talking to people to not make this a bigger incident that it needed to be. The protest fizzled out, but what came out of it is an incredible pulling together of churches and frequent ecumenical events. Believe it or not, the churches are invited into one of the local  High Schools (unfortunately not my kid’s high school, but I pray that that will change) and last year during the first period of the first class one girl got saved. We had representation at this meeting today from the police, the superintendent of schools, the DA, and pastors from many of the area churches. Praise and worship was awesome and there was dancing and choirs and lots of prayer. What a great way to spend the morning.


    I had a great Bible study yesterday that will answer Xenencourager’s question about grace, but before I post that (tomorrow), I want to share what I did this afternoon. Our church has a woman’s luncheon every 3rd Saturday, lunch and a speaker. Usually I can’t go because of kids and husband, but hey my dog didn’t mind if I snuck out to attend. Rocky is good that way.


    We had an author – Anita Estes speak. She wrote a book called When God Speaks: 40 Days and 40 Nights of His Presence. You can find out about this book at: www.anitaestes.com


    Anita talked about how her journey with God grew, speaking about how the scriptures used in her book helped her to grow strong in the Lord, how she achieved VICTORY in Christ.


    Anita pointed out that we need to realize that how we, as Christians, perceive victory is far different from how the world perceives victory. Imagine, Jesus on the Cross, to a worldly person Jesus doesn’t look victorious, but we know that Christ died and won back the Kingdom for us, saving us from our sins and He is seated victoriously at God’s Right hand.


    Sometimes we feel like we are defeated, and later on when we look back, we see the tremendous victories that Christ made in our lives during these periods of trials.


    Anita compared her spiritual journey to Boot Camp and an Exercise program to build spiritual muscle.


    30 years ago she took a summer job at a camp, a camp where the majority of the people were into the New Age and partying. She was a new Christian at the time and had a major choice to make – follow Christian principles or succumb to what the crowd around her was doing. She took the high road, and ended up suffering for her beliefs in a hostile environment. She was forced out of the cabin she was to work in because she tried to talk to a Jewish girl about Christ, and ended up alone. These set-backs appeared like failure, but God used them to build a strong foundation in her life. She concluded that you had to follow Jesus and march to His drumbeat, and not follow your heart which can lie to you.


    The trials we face in our lives build spiritual muscle. Sometimes victory can look like defeat, but the cross you carry can lead to victory. She had us smiling when she picked up a little 2 pound weight and showed her first spiritual muscles, with Jesus as her Spiritual trainer.


    It was during this time she found a wonderful Christian man, married him, and they learned that there were many adjustments that needed to be made as their relationship grew.


    During the training period in a person’s life, after a victory, sometimes God sends another challenge to let you begin to build more muscles, to let you grow more and learn to rely on Him. She called this her period of being In the Dead of Winter. It was when her husband and she had to move to Vermont.


    There during the bitter cold weather and few Christians friends, she learned disciplines, to pray, set aside time for God, and have daily devotions. Growing up in a family filled with depression, she too suffered depression and during this time she was able to use the tools to begin to walk out of depression, to cope with loneliness and to be passionate for God.


    In her book, When God Speaks, Anita shares some of the Bible verses that sustained her during this tough time.She developed a passion for the Word of God and learned much from the saints in the Bible. From Joseph she learned that you can be wronged, and have a good attitude. A right heart is what is important. From Daniel she learned wisdom and humility, not to bow down to the prevailing culture. From Paul she learned to be bold in Christ and let Christ shine forth through her. And from John she learned to sit on the Lord’s lap and snuggle close.


    If you want to build spiritual muscle it takes resistance training. When we have trials they are like the resistance that causes muscle growth. If you are going through a problem it may take time to work it out. You may have to walk before you run, and if need be you crawl before you walk. This is training for future marathons.


    After winter, there is the new renewal of spring and summer. These are seasons given by God to rest and regroup. During this time Anita returned to New York, and active churches, fellowship, and raising children. She was enjoying life and there were few problems on her horizon. It is in these times of rest and ease that often we fall into the danger of forgetting to rely on God. Things are going good and we all of a sudden get too busy to pray or have devotions. Sometimes God gets put on the back burner.  It is during these good times that we need to keep being prepared, studying His word, praying and being with God, because this is when we can put on spiritual fat to help sustain us through the lean times that will inevitably come.


    Few Christians stay in a place of relative peace, we get respite from trials, but then God gives us more challenges to grow us. So if we can fill up with God’s Word and prayer, we have a reserve to draw upon when the next tough time comes.


    Inevitably, after the summer reprieve, Anita faced the season of Fall. Financial troubles, the birth of a new child, a too small house, and her husband’s bout with depression made life very challenging for her. Having come out of a home of depression, freeing herself from depression, her husband’s depression was very upsetting. She was asking God how many trials does she have to have. She had already, by her understanding, had enough trials, and God should stop the trials, but He didn’t. What she learned during this period was to enlist the help of others, and she was brought to a new level of commitment to prayer and working out her problems.


    SEVEN WAYS TO HANDLE CHALLENGING SITUATIONS AND GAIN VICTORY.


    1. Cultivate a close relationship with God. You are responsible for your walk with Him. God is always teaching us something new. It is up to us how close we want to walk with Him.


    2. Realize you cannot change anybody but yourself. You’re responsible for your own happiness. This is where we can get so lost, wondering about how to change another person. The way people change is to see the changes in us – they respond to the “new” person you have become and that response causes changes in them. When people sense the presence of Christ in our lives, that presence cannot help but cause change in others.


    3. Appropriate God’s grace in your own life and towards others. She mentioned that we could liken God’s grace to oil in a car. If a car engine has no oil, the parts rub together, have friction, heat up and seize up. Christ is our model.


    She mentioned that we have burdens to share, burdens to lay down, and burdens to take up by our own selves. It is Christ that shows us which is which, and Grace helps us to work these out properly.


    4. Praise God no matter what your situation may be, either at best or worst. Lift you eyes heavenward. We all know that praise changes things. No matter the circumstances, praise God. If we can’t fix our eyes on Christ in today’s society, we don’t stand a chance living a Christian life – there are too many things out there that can pull us down.


    5. Be an encourager, not a fault finder. Gossip, slander, negative statements do not help us or each other. Far better to look at the good in a situation, to give praise to others, to encourage others and let others encourage us. We will do far better being built up than being torn down by each other.


    6. Seek advice from others who have wisdom. Mentors help to hold us accountable, and to guide us when the path gets tough. We are not meant to go it alone, we can help each other to grow in Christ.


    7. Appreciate what you have and who you are. We are not to be jealous of others and their gifts, of their walk, it is our walk with Christ that matters – it is our individual walks with Christ that Christ will look at. This is not to say go off on your own tangent with false doctrine, but our walks are individual. We must do what Christ is telling us to do. Victory will look different for each and every person, for we are all individuals. God will take our defeats and our victories and turn it all to good.


    In order to walk in victory, we have to cast off the weights that hinder our walks. The burdens, hindrances, fear, worry, anxiety, pride, jealousy, worldly pursuits,. We have to untangle ourselves from bitterness, pride, envy, self-indulgence, gossip, lust, hatred, immorality, etc. Even little hindrances can cause us to veer off course.


    Through confession and resistance (to sin) training we can have our victory. We have to be spiritually prepared, with the full armor of God, and remember 1 Timothy 6:6 Godliness with contentment is great gain.


    Anita Estes came up with a great acrostic for victory.


    VIC-tory T-o O-vercome R-eal Y-uckiness.


    Her book is a 40 day devotional of Bible verses, teaching, prayer, application and reflections. I personally am looking forward to using it in my morning devotionals. I am so glad that God gave me the chance to hear her speak. Hoping this blesses you as much as I was blessed.


    Have an incredible evening.


    Heather

  • Carolyn asked the following questions:


    1. I don’t know much about N.Y., but after seeing the bears ~ are you near a woods;  what kind of land are you in (suburbia, country, etc.)



    My husband saw this bear the other day, which is why Carolyn asked where we live. I live in upstate New York, and it is a mountainous area, with lots of land, trees and country. I live in a small town, and there is enough woods around to support a bear population. We have a few bears around that tend to make a circuit that seems to be related to the garbage truck route. Many of the towns around are very careful because of the bears, we have had a few problems with bears breaking into houses and causing trouble. Right now we have to be especially careful because there are cubs and moms wandering around. We do not want to get between a momma bear and her cubs. I have instructed my kids to not go out too much by themselves to walk or jog, because until we know the bear isn’t around I don’t want them getting cornered. During the fall we also have to be careful during to hunting season. But what is awesome is that when I look out my back window, I see mountains and no houses. In the winter I can see the road in front of my house, but it feels like the country. I love it.



    While the focus of the picture was my daughter on her birthday, you can see the view from my back deck. Trees and mountains, and what awesome pictures God creates with those.



    2. What country (s) would you be most interested in visiting, and why?


    My fantasy is to visit Israel, to walk where Jesus walked and just worship.


    3. What parts of the Bible do you most like to read devotionally, or for other reasons ~& which ones are the most challenging for you?


    I tend to like to read the Bible from cover to cover because I find that if I pick my favorites I might miss something that God wants me to see about my life. I think the most challenging for me changes depending on where I am in my walk with God. For example, when I first stumbled into Living Word Chapel’s Friday Bible study, Pastor Don was teaching in Romans. Romans was tough for me because I was pretty angry at God. For a long time I struggled with Job, wondering how God could have allowed satan to inflict Job with his problems. How could the book end by saying that God restored in abundance all that Job lost, when Job did not get back his first kids who died. I was angry at God’s seemingly lack of response to Job when Job confronted God. Sometimes the love of Jesus is tough to take when I am feeling rather down. And when I looked at passages in Psalms like He knew my end from my beginning, or had fashioned me and knew what I would have dealt with. I used to bristle at that. Now God will strike my heart almost anywhere I am reading, it seems that He knows as I read that I will have to face His truth.


    That being said, what has most impressed me lately is how much Jesus is in the Whole Bible, and how God does keep His promises, and that often God does not act immediately (that is not always comforting to me when I want Him to act sooner). But how, not one promise has fallen through the cracks. When I see the prophesies fulfilled, I can trust that the unfulfilled ones will also be fulfilled in the right time. It is comforting to know that even when we don’t see how much God is in control, He really is. I hope that makes sense.


    TBN has Pastor Don on right now, from a previous show of Praise in the Night. I am recording it, so am up later than I probably should be.


    hoping you have a blessed night.
    Heather

  • Genesis 28


    Isaac calls Jacob to him, and tells him not to take a wife from the daughters of Canaan (which in our terms would be from the flesh, the world). He is to go to Padan Aram to find a bride. Padan Aram means field and is in Mesopotamia. Notice, Abraham sent his servant to find a bride for Isaac. Jacob is being sent out to find his own bride from the house of Laban.


    Abraham blesses Jacob, verse 3-4 “May God Almighty bless you, and make you fruitful and multiply you, that you may be an assembly of peoples; and give you the blessing of Abraham, to you and your descendants with you. That you may inherit the land in which you are a stranger, which God gave to Abraham.”


    Remember, Jacob now has to go into exile because of his duplicity in gaining the blessing of Isaac, and Esau has vowed to kill Jacob once their father is dead. When parents play favorites among their children it leads to all sorts of trouble and jealousy. We will see this even more when we get to the story of Joseph. I think it is important to have each child feel special in their own right. No child should be made to feel like they do not matter.


    Esau, observes the blessing of Jacob and Abraham’s instruction to Jacob to take a wife that is not one of the daughters of Canaan. Esau observes that Jacob obeyed his parents, and realizes that his father did not like his two brides, so Esau decides to go to Ishmael and take Mahalath  the daughter of Ishmael as his wife. Mahalath is the daughter of Abraham’s son through Hagar, and sister of Nebajoth.


    Remember Ishmael – who will be a thorn in Israel (the nation’s) flesh. Ishamael who was the son of Hagar, who would become a nation unto itself, Hagar and Ishmael were sent away after Isaac was born. Now Esau is going to marry into that family. I kind of suspect that in his jealousy Esau is thinking, if Jacob is going to get a bride, then I AM going to get a bride too. No matter that Esau already has two brides.


    Jesus will at one point talk with people about marriage when he receives a question about divorce. God’s plan did not include multiple marriages or divorce. God planned for one man and one woman to come together and become one flesh. We humans seem to take traditions around us, and what others are doing and figure that because times have changed, so has God. Not so. God’s Word stands, and God’s Truth stands. We can try to manipulate it, we can try to say that times change. Think about it honestly, could you really trust a God that flip flops due to the seasons of the time?


    When I first met my husband BC (Before Children) he had a houseboat and we would go out on dates driving the boat around. When he taught me to drive the boat, at first I looked at the water or at the wake to see if I was going straight. I did not drive in too straight a line doing that. He taught me to find a fixed point on the horizon and look to that, and my muscles would automatically react to keep the boat going straight. Later, when we had a sailboat we would use the compass to keep in the correct direction if there were no landmarks to sail towards. (now we have a tiny runabout for the kids to go fishing, sigh). It is the same with God. He is the permanent landmark, the trustworthy due North that we can fix our sites on to steer through life. We need God to remain true to His Word, or else we fall in the dangerous ground of  wallowing around a sea of our own desires and changing ideas, and we lose the Truth in the process.


    ISHMAEL means God will hear
    MAHALATH means stringed instrument (remember who also was at one time the chief
                                         musician for God, and was cast down for rebellion – Lucifer)
    NEBAJOTH means heights – the descendants of this son of Ishmael will end up founding
                                 the city Petra.


    So now Esau has three wives/Jacob none at this time. I wish I could say that Esau had learned that his passions do not help him. When I get upset I tend to reach for some comfort food (primarily chocolate), and later, the extra calories are not my friend. Esau seems to reach to the physical for his comfort. He lost an inheritance, so he finds another wife to have earthly passions with. I wonder what would have happened had Esau dropped to his knees and repented of his wrong behavior, repented of the vow he had taken, and decided to give his obedience to God.


    I am glad that God includes the good, the bad, and the ugly in the Bible so we can learn from other’s examples. Perhaps that is how God redeems these people’s actions to make beauty from ashes. From our vantage point we can see the far-reaching repercussions of a thoughtless act of disobedience and disrespect to God. A bowl of lentils, a blessing lost, a marriage out of the wrong motives impacts not only the individual doing the sin, but future generations. Even though today people try to convince us that there are sins that do not hurt anyone else, don’t believe them. All sin has repercussions.


    I love it when the Bible uses the word “a certain place.”  Usually something spectacular happens, when there is a special meeting with God. Abraham was to go to a place God would tell Him, Abraham was to bring Isaac to a certain place for the sacrifice, And now, Jacob is at a certain place, and he will stay there the night.


    There will be one stone that he takes for a pillow (many times in the Bible stone or rock stands for Jesus) and Jacob puts the stone at his head and lies down and has the most remarkable dream.


    Verse 12-15 Then he dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. And behold, the LORD stood above it and said: “I am the LORD God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and your descendants. Also your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread abroad to the west and the east, to the north and the south; and in you and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed. Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.


    What a comforting dream this must have been for Jacob as he traveled toward Haran. This vision happened when Jacob was sleeping – he was not working at that time. Note how God personalized himself – The LORD God of Abraham, the God of Isaac – soon we will also hear Him call Himself the Lord of Jacob. Again the descendants will be throughout the earth and in Jacob’s seed (singular) all the earth shall be blessed. That is a promise of the Messiah who has blessed all the earth with salvation. How wonderful to be reminded that God is with us wherever we go. And he has promised to bring Jacob back to this land. During the 20 years with Laban, I wonder if Jacob held onto that promise, knowing that He would return to his land one day. And also how incredible to know that God would be with him until all that God has spoken is accomplished.


    I love Jacob’s response Genesis 28:16 Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it.”


    If you read my previous few entries you saw that in retrospect I could see where the hand of God was in my life. Sometimes we do not see God’s presence until in retrospect, after He has grown us up a bit. Jacob laid down in a barren place, on route to where he is supposed to go. Sometimes we get so caught up in the goal, we forget that God is there with us on the path toward the goal. Jacob realized that God IS (note the word IS, not Was, not Will be, but IS) in this place and Jacob realizes he did not know it. Truth be told, God IS in all of our places all of the time, but often we do not look for him.


    In her study, Believing God Beth Moore had us writing down what she called “God Stops” or points in our day where we realized the presence of God. It could be simple like a sunrise or sunset, or a kind word or gesture, or a revelation of God through His word, or whatever. The idea was to become more attuned to God’s presence in our daily walk.


    Well, Jacob ends up being afraid and said, Verse 17 “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God., and this is the gate of heaven!” For Jacob at that time this is true, and I guess in his day, because the Holy Spirit did not dwell in everyone, places like the tabernacle, wells, and special spots where God appeared to people became important touch points. But since Christ’s sacrifice, we can look at our own bodies and say, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of Heaven.” For we are the tabernacle of God, living stones in His temple, and by worshipping God we are at the gate of Heaven.


    Jacob rises early in the morning (a time when many come to God in devotions to start their day off right), and takes the stone that he had put by his head, sets it up as a pillar and pours oil on it. This is an anointing of the stone – oil is often a symbol of the Holy Spirit, the Stone of Jesus, and we have God the father being worshipped.  He calls the place Bethel – which we know means house of God.


    Now get this, before Jacob calls the place Bethel, its name had been Luz.


    LUZ means separation
    BETHEL means house of God.


    The area ceases being separated from God when it becomes the house of God – when we accept Christ into our lives, we are no longer separated from God. The Holy Spirit is the one who causes us to yearn to come to God.


    Now notice, this began while Jacob was sleeping – God makes covenants with men often when they are asleep. Abraham’s covenant – Abraham was asleep, now Jacob. God does that because then God is the one responsible for keeping His word, it is not the words of man or man’s actions, just God’s Sovereignty. God knows us, He knows our weaknesses, and knows that we will fail often. So God takes no chances with His covenants, and makes them Himself because He knows He won’t break them.


    We, as humans have an awful tendency, to want to make promises to God that we cannot keep in our own strength, instead of just worshipping and thanking God.


    Here is Jacob’s promise to God, verse 20-22 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me, and keep me in this way that I am going, and give me bread to eat and clothing to put on, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then the LORD shall be my God. And this stone which I have set as a pillar shall be God’s house, and of all that You give me I will surely give a tenth to You.”


    Before we look at he promise, first this is another time when the tithe is mentioned – Abraham gave a tithe to Melchizedek. Someone asked me about the tithe in the New Testament. Tithe is an important concept throughout the Bible. So often people say, Jesus didn’t say anything about that, or it isn’t specifically mentioned in the New Testament. The truth is the truth. Jesus came to fulfill the scriptures (which in His day was just what we call the Old Testament), he spoke with the men in Emmaus and showed them where He was in all of the Scriptures (Old Testament). We seem to be a society that likes all things New. I am not sure that Old and New are the best way to divide the Testaments, because Jesus is through them all. If we were brutally honest, everything we have is Gods, when we give God the tithe or 10% we are not giving our stuff, we are just giving back to God. God is not poor, he doesn’t need our 10 cents on the dollar. If we give or don’t give, God will not go hungry. So why the tithe? It is a reminder to us that all that we have is God’s. It helps us to avoid the sin of LOVE of MONEY. Money is not the root of all evil, LOVE OF MONEY, is. When we give our tithes, gifts and charity, we are saying that we love God and others more than the money that we possess. Just like forgiveness, these requests of God are not for God’s needs, but for our needs. God knows what is best for us. And one other thing, God really doesn’t want the tithe from a grudging giving, he wants us to give to Him from the abundance of love in our heart.


    Jacob does what I often do – I receive a promise from God, I read a promise in His Word, I hear a bit of prophesy or a sermon and know that it is from God – that God doesn’t lie. But listen to how Jacob responds to God’s promise, “IF God will be with me..”


    IF, one of those prepositions filled with doubt. If implies that God may or may not be with Jacob. How often our words trip us up. If implies uncertainty, when God is certain. I wish I could say that I don’t use words like “if” in connection with God, but I do. When God gives us a promise we can bank on it. Jacob, had he not had doubts, could have said, “SINCE God is with me.” or BECAUSE. Even with those words of doubt, Jacob will end up in the Hall of Faith – Hebrews 11. God is still helping Jacob to learn to walk with Him, and often our journeys, trials, and mistakes are God’s tools for helping us to grow in Him. God will provide abundantly for Jacob, so abundantly that others will notice and be jealous. And God will bring him back to his father’s house. God promised that while Jacob was sleeping, so why does Jacob have to make a vow saying that if God will do what God has promised, then the LORD shall be my God.


    Don’t we always bargain with God – Jacob is an expert bargainer – he bargained a bowl of lentils for a birthright, he will bargain for the daughters of Laban, for cattle, etc. We so often feel we have to bargain with God. Dear God if I do this, will you do that? Or God if you do that, then I will know that I can trust you. How wrong we are. God was already Jacob’s God, just as God is already our God. He loves us before we even knew Him. We do not have to bargain with God, He gives abundantly of His love. As we will see in some of the Psalms, God gives abundantly not only to the saints but to the sinners. His love knows no limits.


    Jacob is doing what I so often do, seeing God as separate from me, needing to earn His love and protection. Not realizing that all is God’s, including me. Our minds, our doubts, our “if’s” can sure get us in trouble.


    Beth Moore  in her book “The Patriarchs” has a few extra comments that are pretty profound. She spoke of this incident in the life of Jacob in one of her video sermons. Notes are on page 127 of her book. She talks about the place where Jacob reached that certain place to spend the night, that the word for “reached” could be more closely translated happen upon or strikes upon, which emphasizes the randomness of the place picked. But Beth then says, “A place we think we’ve randomly happened upon can be a divinely scheduled venue for an awesome encounter with God.”


    She tells us that nothing in our lives is random if we believe in Christ. God first emphasized that he was the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and he was to be Jacob’s God as well – there is a connectedness there – these are not separate idols, but one God.


    When I read this passage, I thought of the tower of Babel in Genesis 11, where man was trying to reach to heaven in their own strength. This did not work, but what man cannot do in his own strength, God can do. God reaches down to man, and the angels go up and down this ladder.  John 1:47-51, the heavens opened and the angels of God ascended and descended on the Son of Man.


    Beth talks about the representations in Jacobs dream. page 127:
    * The ladder’s obvious purposes of connection and access. After the dream Jacob described the place as the Gate of Heaven (Gen. 28:17) Jesus is the gate.
    * The dream coming specifically to Jacob who would be renamed Israel.
    *Peter said of Christ, “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame” (1 Peter 2:6) Peter would have well remembered that Christ also promised to build His church upon a rock (Matt 16:18) The emphasis of Genesis 28:14 is clearly upon descendants.


    Beth says, “Jacob will set up a stone pillar, which will later become unacceptable as God’s people treated the memorials as idols rather than symbols. Due to such misuse, the prophet Hosea renamed Bethel (Meaning House of God) Beth Aven meaning house of nothingness. Hos. 4:15


    Then Beth says, “Jacob poured oil on top of the standing stone. Both The New International Commentary and The Beginning of Wisdom treat Jacob’s action as an anointing and translate the word “top” as “head”. A more literal interpretation of Genesis 28:18 would be: “He poured oil upon its head.” A Jewish scholar by the name of Sacks: “Jacob’s deed anticipates the need for priests and king s who will later be ‘the gate of heaven’ for the people.” Keep in mind that both words Messiah and Christ mean “the anointed One.”


    How awesome is God’s word. What a mirror for me Jacob is, I am hoping that I can learn to act differently with God. I am soon off to Friday Bible study, so may have something new to share with you tomorrow from Bible study.


    Hoping you have a blessed day!


    Heather
    *******************

  • Debbie asked the following questions.


    1. What is your favorite comfort during tough times scripture?



    2. What is your favorite song?


    3.  What really touches your heart?


    I have a comforting scriptures, Psalm 23 and Psalm 91, and Isaiah 61, and Phillipians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me).

     

    Although when I am upset, often any scripture or Bible study has a calming effect. Sometimes my mind does not take in the words when I am hurting, and I read anyway, and after awhile the peace of God sinks in.

     

    Favorite song is difficult, I love the song Breathe, Come Now is the time to Worship (which was sung at my baptism.) And there is the song, We fall Down, which is so encouraging, I love the words in this song that say, “For a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up, and one that I love is the Potter’s Hands although I pray that I really will be receptive to being shaped by God.

     

    One song that I have listened to thousands of times is a song I heard on the Steve Solomon radio program many years ago, it is written and sung by Rohn Bailey and is called “My Life is Filled.” It reduces me to tears, for it so accurately describes my yearning for Abba Father. I actually called Riverwalk Fellowship (Steve Solomon’s church) and had them make copies of the cd with the three songs on it so that I could give it to friends. Rohn Bailey  wrote the song after a bout with depression.

     

    What really touches my heart? The love of Jesus, which is so awesome that I can’t fathom why He would love me. And any hurting soul tugs at my heartstrings. One of my most fulfilling times is when I get to go into the Middle School and help out with the sewing class. Happens twice a year for a period of about 3-4 weeks. During this time I get to sit with kids who have a tough time getting their acts together. We usually work through the required worksheets, and then I help them get organized with their sewing projects. So many of these kids have some incredible stories to tell, and hurts. I pray often for them, and ask God to give me the right words to speak to them, to help them see a bit of God’s love. Every semester there are two or three who really tug at my heartstrings. I think some of you will remember Natasha, my sweet teen who loved to dress in goth, and was so surprised that I wasn’t afraid of her – amazed when I told her that it wasn’t what a person wore on the outside, but who they were on the inside. She tried so hard to put on a tough air, and in the end I found out that she passed this class, and even commented that she liked the class. She wrote a note on a thank you card that stated that she was wearing a little necklace I had made for her (and prayed over). Some of these kids are hurting so badly, and my heart tears for them.

     

    When I was a kid I held onto every tiny kind deed done to me by a teacher or kid. They were like pearls on a string that I could pull out and remember when times got tough. I try to be that for these kids, a bit of positive love that might give them the courage to move on. To counter some of the negative things said to them, like the little boy who told me, “My grandmother told me that I will never amount to anything”, he was in this grandmother’s custody. I informed him that he did not have to believe that, that I believed in him. This is a tough world for these kids.

     

    Hoping you have a blessed day.

    Heather

     

  • Doug asked the following questions:


    RYC, ya, the comfort we receive in our times of trials, God wants to build into us so that we can comfort others when they face similar trials.


    3 questions, eh?  ok,


    1.  When in that “most difficult time” asked about above, what comfort did you receive from God


    2.  How soon after receiving comfort for the above time did God open a door for you to use it?


    3.  What is true forgiveness, between humans?


     

    In the most difficult time (see previous entry) I did not know much about God, except what I learned from a few TV shows or radio programs, but I knew enough to pray, and at the age of 8 I gave up on God, deciding that God had abandoned me. I stopped asking Him for help, felt the wall next to my bed provided more comfort – I could beat my head against it, it cooled bruises, and was solid. My father, after a heart attack, rejoined his church of Christian Scientist – and was brutal in that. He would make me read the Bible out loud and throw things at me if I paused too long at a comma, too short at a semicolon. I used to break out in a cold sweat just touching a Bible. When I turned 17 I fully turned my back on Christianity. My “reasoning” at the time was that, if so-called Christians hurt me so badly, I wanted to be anything but a Christian. So I became a Pagan, graduated to becoming a Witch (ultimately a priestess of a coven of 150 witches in Chicago). In my training as a priestess I studied many mythologies, including Christianity (which is what I thought Christianity was at the time). I have also studied Hawaiian Huna, Macumba, Santeria, Christian Mysticism, etc. When people would mention Christ to me I mocked inside my mind or asked questions to try and confuse them and show up how dumb they were for being Christian, but sometimes inside I wished I had their “simple” faith. I realize now it is anything but simple, but at that time I was not receptive to the Christian message – yet seeds were planted. Please, even if you have friends who do not listen or mock your faith, don’t quit planting, you never know when they may sprout.

     

    It was the Holy Spirit that touched my heart and I got the idea to give God one last chance, and I read the Bible from cover to cover. I felt that I was one of those hardened hearts, that God didn’t want me any more than I wanted Him. But Pastor Don and I explored the Bible, I sat under his teaching in Bible study for a year in Romans. I think the one verse that began to crack my armor was 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I spent a couple of years talking with Pastor Don, and part of one year was a period of time I called the sin of the week. I would recount particular sins and tell him that God could not forgive me for that sin, or another sin. Pastor Don would inevitably bring me to 1 John 1:9, and assure me that God was able to forgive any sin. And pointed out that I had truly repented, because I would never do those particular actions again.

     

    I have been saved for four years, and in that time God has gradually revealed Himself to me. He has not stormed down the doors of my resistance, but has patiently waited until I was able to want Him into a particular area. Pastor Don has explained that God would not want to force me because then He would be acting like my abusive father. I used to think that God was not in certain areas of my life, and now I am beginning to see how much He was there.

     

    Regarding my past, even after I got saved, for years I would blame God, I would wonder why God did not make Himself more evident, why He didn’t at least comfort me in the situation, and why He let my father do what he did. I don’t think I will have complete answers before I get to Heaven, but I have some things that have been revealed to me as I have been healed.

     

    Control was important for my survival as a kid, I had to be in control of my emotions, too many tears or too few tears could cause a beating or worse. If God had come in too comforting I might have let my guard and control slip, and that would have cost me my life (and I mean that literally). When he was doing what he did to me, I couldn’t react or make a face, I had to be bland and say what he wanted me to say, I couldn’t look repulsed.

     

    I did not kill myself, get a disease (my father also slept with whores, and I was just his in between whores entertainment), get pregnant, or go insane. Any of these could have occurred with the kinds of trauma I received.

     

    When I started rebelling, taking drugs, drinking, and sleeping around no disease or disintegration of my mind occurred. I survived all the attempts at destroying myself through lifestyle.

     

    And my most recent revelation is that the kind of abuse that my parents did protected me from getting too enmeshed in the occult. See, many of the new age and occult practices worship the father and mother gods. Well I didn’t have a good relationship with either parent, so my ability to really bond with any of these false gods was impaired. In fact when I first accepted Christ, the concept of Abba Father was a tough one. But the difference between God and the false gods is that God is a healer, and He kept working with me to heal the hurts. He has taken what satan meant for harm and made it good. God works gently and patiently, and his method heals. Today I was listening to a song about the joy of the Lord, and I realized I do have that joy. I praise God today, and he has used this to help me to reach others.

     

    I think that answers questions one and two. Regarding true forgiveness between humans. I remember a pastor’s wife who helped me to realize that when I carried around unforgiveness of my parents (who were dead), all I was doing was carrying around dead weight. The unforgiveness left the rawness of my hurt unhealed, and it was forgiveness that lanced the wound so that the poison could come out. When we think about forgiveness we have to remember that it is a selfish thing – it is really for us that we forgive another. Forgiving does not absolve the person of any repercussions for what they did, it just takes the pain off of our shoulders. God is the ultimate judge and it is He who can do this fairly. I forgave my parents. I kind of see forgiveness as sort of like an onion with layers upon layers. I forgave them, and when a new memory comes up, I immediately forgive. I don’t go diving for memories, but at the same time I forgive. I realized that I had forgiven when one day I found myself hoping that my parents had accepted Christ before they died, that no one should go to hell.

     

    Unforgiveness is like a cancer inside of us. It destroys us, it destroys our relationship with God for God wants us to obey Him and forgive. My sister, who also had been abused, chose not to forgive. When we talk she sputters and rages at what happened. She is 15 years older than me and still nurses the wounds she received. She claims she will never forgive him, even though I have spoken with her about forgiveness. To date she has had over 27 surgeries, and has lost part of her stomach due to ulcers. She needs to forgive. My brother and I have been talking lately, and he used to fly into rages from the abuse he received. He has started being more sentimental about the past (he is 16 years older than me), and so we have started talking a bit about forgiving and how I hope that our parents made it to heaven. When we are unforgiving we keep the abuse alive inside of us, and it is not freeing. True liberty comes with forgiveness.

     

    I think for me it was easy to forgive them, they had died. I don’t know if it would be as easy to forgive if they were still alive. Although I would have liked to have asked them why they did what they did, I know that God must have realized that wasn’t good for me to have done that. But now that I have grown more in Christ, I think that now I would have been able to forgive them if they were alive.

     

    One thing that I have noticed about my past is that it is my PAST now. I can share pieces of it, and sometimes it makes me sad, but often it is just a fact that I share that helps others. The feelings are there, but the emotions are not raw. I am not a walking wounded, I have found a strength.

     

    Forgiveness is tough. If someone has hurt us deeply we need to forgive, but that doesn’t mean we make ourselves doormats to be walked all over. We may not want to trust them in the area they have violated for some time. We may want to forgive and walk away. We may want to let time go by before we open up too much to them. It is an individual thing, but God and the Holy Spirit can help with this. One thing is certain though, liberty, joy and peace follow forgiveness.

     

    Hoping you have a blessed day. Again, I will answer other questions if you wish, but a few a day. Here is the link for the questions. I am answering them in order received. Thank you for asking. I am finding it interesting to look at things that I might not pull up if not asked.


    Heather

  • I just finished spell checking this, and noticed that even common Bible names and Books of the Bible do not seem to be in Xanga’s spell checker. Hmmmm.


    I will keep answering questions but do not want to stop with my Genesis study either. We are in Genesis 27, when we last left, Rebekah had Jacob covered in goat skins, tricking Issac into believing that he was Esau. Isaac, despite his suspicions, decides that by his smell, he must be Esau – Esau must have had SOME distinctive aroma if you ask me.


    You can’t make this stuff up – soap operas of today pale in comparison.


    Here is Isaac’s blessing to Jacob (remember this is the blessing God wanted Jacob to have, and Isaac was thinking that he was giving the blessing to Esau).


    Genesis 27: 27-29 Surely, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field which the LORD has blessed. Therefore may God give you of the dew of heaven, of the fatness of the earth, and plenty of grain and wine, let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be master over your brethren, and let your mother’s sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be those who bless you.


    If you look back at Genesis 12, you see that this is the blessing God gave Abram – being a great nation, and that God will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse them. And in Abram, all the families of the earth shall be blessed.


    Now God had promised this to Abram and told him that it would be through Jacob that this blessing would happen. Esau had sold off the blessing for a bowl of lentils, at that time it meant nothing to him. By receiving this blessing from Isaac, Jacob is a supplanter twice, once over the bowl of lentils, and now the blessing.


    Well now the dramatic tension. Just imagine Esau’s face if he caught sight of Jacob in the hairy costume. Jacob had scarcely left the room when Esau rushed in with the food. Esau by now probably realized his mistake in selling the birthright so cheaply, and saw this as an opportunity to get it back. Imagine his surprise, when Isaac tells him that one claiming to be Esau already had received the blessing. 


    Verse 33 Then Isaac trembled exceedingly, and said, “Who? Where is the one who hunted game and brought it to me? I ate all of it before you came, and I have blessed him—and indeed he shall be blessed.”


    I wonder if Isaac trembled because he remembered God’s prophesy. Blessings were serious business, once blessed the blessing stuck.


    Esau gives an exceedingly great and bitter cry and asks his father to bless him also. Isaac says, verse 35 “Your brother came with deceit and has taken away your blessing.”


    I don’t know about this, but in real life having three kids, this may not have been the best thing to say, for it pits one child against another. Isaac might have thought this, but it has to add fuel to Esau’s wrath to hear his father talk about Jacob’s deceit. Perhaps flames could have been lessened had Isaac said that God had told him to bless Jacob in this way. (But this is my inference, not necessarily the way it could have happened).


    Esau then protests and says, verse 36 “Is he not rightly named Jacob? For he has supplanted me these two times. He took away my birthright, and now look, he has taken away my blessing!” and hoping not to fully lose out, he asks his dad if there isn’t a blessing for him.


    Wait a minute, isn’t Esau a bit like us, selective remembering. Yes, Jacob did not go about claiming the birthright and blessing in the correct way. But who was it that cared so little about the birthright in the first place and sold it for a bowl of lentils? With hindsight, we can see that Esau got the blessing God wanted him to get, and Jacob got the blessing God wanted him to get. But Jacob’s methods leave much to be desired. Jacob will soon see what it is like to be on the receiving end of someone who is as conniving as him.


    Isaac informs Esau that Jacob is now made his master as all the brethren were given as servants. Esau lifts up his voice and weeps. We do that too when things go wrong, when we have made impulsive decisions, wrong choices, and then we see the fruit of them. We weep and cry, and at times try to put the blame on someone else. What a mirror for me this family is.


    Isaac was able to pull a blessing out for Esau, but it is not the blessing that Esau wanted. Esau will later become Edom and the Edomites will be a thorn in Israel’s side for a long time. Jacob’s duplicity will bear fruit that he and his descendants will have to deal with.


    Here is Esau’s blessing. Genesis 27:39-40 “Behold your dwelling shall be of the fatness of the earth, and of the dew of heaven from above. By your sword you shall live, and you shall serve your brother, and it shall come to pass, when you become restless, that you shall break his yoke from your neck.


    This shows that Esau is not in a place of permanence, even in the land or in serving his brother. The yoke will be broken from Esau’s neck. Of course the Edomites were not people beloved of God, perhaps it would have been better to have maintained Jacob’s yoke, for Jacob was the line from which the Messiah would be born. How we strive to break free, thinking that we will do well in freedom, only to become slave to something far worse. We know the end of the story, God wins, satan loses. Esau has chosen the wrong team.


    Also, when we make a wrong choice and end up with those consequences, don’t we end up hating the one we blame, the one we perceive wronged us. This happens with Esau, who ends up hating Jacob. (For what it is worth, Jacob will carry guilt about this, and in his future dealings with Esau he will give away some of what he gained by his ruse, but had he done it God’s way, he would not have had the same challenges).


    Esau hates Jacob and says in his heart, verse 41 “The days of my mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”


    Jesus will have something to say about words said in one’s heart, Matthew 12:33-37 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”


    I can just imagine the mutterings that Esau made. An impulsive man would probably spout off these thoughts to anyone and everyone in his circle. Rebekah hears about these thoughts of Esau through her servants. Rebekah will now face a few of the consequences of her plotting – she will have to send her beloved Jacob into exile, and will never see him again.  She realizes that Esau comforts himself by plotting Jacob’s death. So Rebekah tells him to flee to her brother Laban in Haran. At the hands of Laban, Jacob will have met his match in conniving.


    Remember how Isaac gained his wife, it was from this family, and Laban was very aware of the wealth of Abraham, and knew that this wealth would pass down to Isaac. Rebekah thinks that Jacob needs to stay with Laban only a few days, a few days will stretch out to 20 years. Rebekah is also weary of the daughters of Heth that Esau married, so she is hoping that Jacob will marry someone from her relatives.


    Sir Walter Scott said, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” We will now see that tangled web.


    We will see in later books of the Bible that Edomites will end up serving David, and then in 2 Chronicles 21:8 they will rebel against Judah’s authority, and become a kingdom unto themselves. They will break the yoke in that day. Remember that God told Rebekah that she had two nations in her womb, one would be stronger and the elder would serve the younger. This was God’s plan from the start.


    In Hebrews 11 God recounts the highpoints of Isaac’s faith, that Abraham was tested and offered up Isaac, and Hebrews 11:20 By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come.


    I take comfort in those words, because Genesis showed us that Isaac had planned to give Jacob’s blessing to Esau, and it was only by conniving that the blessing went the way God wanted (although I think God would have somehow made the blessing right if Rebekah and Jacob hadn’t plotted). But it blesses me to see how when God remembers the scene, he does not focus on the mistakes or wrong intentions, but on what went right.


    We need to remember Romans 2:1 when we look at the mistakes of those in the Old Testament – for when we judge another we condemn ourselves because we do the same things that we are judging.


    A reading of Malachi 1 will let you see how God felt about Esau and Jacob.


    There are a few lessons we can learn from Genesis 27


    1. Esau was guilty of bartering away his blessing for carnal gratification. We have to be careful that we do not barter our blessings from God for momentary satisfaction.
    2. Doing evil that good may come out does not justify Rebekah’s actions. The end does not justify the means.
    3. We need to be careful that we don’t do what Isaac did and be blind to God’s will, and substitute our natural affections and desires for what God wants.
    4. Rebekah’s plot ends up sending Jacob into exile for 20 years.
    5. Our manipulations are no match for God’s will, when God tells us something we have to trust that He can make it come to pass.
    6. Jacob did not earn this blessing of God, in fact, his cheating and conniving should have cost him the blessing, but God blessed him anyway. It is not what we do that merits the blessing, it is who God is.


    I want to share with you an insight that Beth Moore found about this section of scripture, from her study called The Patriarchs. This is on page 123.


    Beth uses the NIV Bible and in verse 41 (shown above) her translation states that Esau “held a grudge against”. “The English phrase is a translation of only one Hebrew word: satam. The New International Commentary footnotes the English translation with the following interesting words: (Keep in mind the Hebrew alphabet doesn’t include vowels). “stm, apparently a by-form of stn, the root from which Satan derives.” The Complete Word Study Dictionary of the Old Testament lists three Hebrew transliterations in a row that I’d like you to consider and compare with a portion of their definitions. Remember these Old Testament words and uses:


    7852 satam (*The word used in today’s text) A verb meaning to hate; to bear a grudge against, to harass. It means to nurse hostility and bitterness toward someone; or even to attack or harass a person physically.


    7853 satam” A verb meaning to accuse, to slander, and to harbor animosity toward. The verb is used only six times and presents a negative attitude or bias toward something. (The Old Testament Lexical Aids priortize the important English definition “to attack”)


    7854 satan: A masculine noun meaning an adversary, Satan, an accuser. This noun is used twenty seven times [in OT]. In Job it is found fourteen times meaning (the) satan, the accuser.


    Please note that the first two Hebrew words are verbs and the third is a masculine noun.


    She then had us read Zechariah 3:1 and mark the  word that is the masculine noun and the verb based on the previous words. “Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him.” the words in question are satan and accuse.


    On page 124 she continues by letting us see the close connections between the Hebrew words for hate/hold a grudge (verb: satam); attack/accuse/slander (verb satan), and Satan (noun: satan). “Malachai 1:2-3 tells us something that can seem disturbing without deeper consideration: “Was not Esau Jacob’s brother?” the LORD says, “Yet I have loved Jacob, but Esau I have hated.”"
       Beth continues, “Those are strong words! God’s Word tells us He is kind and compassionate, merciful and just. But did Esau ever have a chance? Did God have it out for Esau from the very beginning? Was Esau simply a victim of God’s partiality? I believe some meditation on the connections of these Hebrew words might quiet our concerns enough to rest the remaining mystery in divine sovereignty.


    She had us draw diagram of the path that Esau went in his thinking and feelings after finding out he lost the blessing. Here is Beth’s path:


    cried ….held a grudge….premeditated murder….consoled  himself.


    Beth feels that, since not everyone who suffers loss or feels cheated premeditates murder that maybe Esau had a psychopathic personality.


    Beth continues on page 125 talking about satan. “Don’t think for a moment the devil wasn’t alive and active during the period of the patriarchs. Furthermore, don’t think for a moment he wasn’t focused on Jacob’s life as a link in the chain of God’s people. The holocaust of God’s people has been the enemy’s plan all along. “He was a murderer from the beginning.” Can you think of a more effective way to kill a people than to kill the individual from whom the promised line would come?”


    I hadn’t thought about that angle before, but it is so true, satan has been trying to muck up the line that lead to Jesus from the time of Eve. And he is still trying to muck up the line until the return of Christ.


    Beth reminds us that the train of thoughts that lead to murderous thoughts started with a grudge. We have to be careful in our lives that we do not hold onto grudges for they can lead to worse actions.


    Beth then continues on page 126 “Esau missed the grace of God. Yes, grace was available to people in the Old Testament. Grace is kneaded irrevocably into the concept of hesed, God’s loyal covenant love. In fact, hesed is translated “grace” in Jonah 2:8. “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”


    “Esau’s own misguided sense of entitlement became his idol, and he forfeited the grace that could have been his. Yes, we could argue that missing the grace of God seemed Esau’s destiny in the mystery of divine sovereignty, but murderous people such as Esau and Judas aren’t helpless victims. They are humans whose hearts resemble the heart of their spiritual father, satan.”


    “God offers us the grace to avoid bitterness in every challenge. But if we don’t allow God to apply grace like balm to our broken hearts, a “bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”


    I think that is why forgiveness is so important. Forgiveness is not absolution of what a person did, only God can do that, but forgiveness frees us from being defiled by the bitter root of unforgiveness.


    Hoping you have a blessed day. Tomorrow I get to visit with Pastor Don’s mom in the morning – she just turned 89. Then in the afternoon I promised the kids an activity for fun. After that I will try to answer another of the questions.


    Heather

  • I have offered people a chance to ask three questions for a bit of a change of pace. If  you have a question or questions here is the link: questions I am just doing one question at a time and in the order received.


    Heather


    John also known as the  Midnight bard asked the following:



    What is the most difficult time you have ever faced in your life?


    What is the happiest time of your life?


    Have you ever kept a secret from your loved ones? (You don’t have to answer that one, of course.)


    ***************

    I think that the most difficult time in my life was the point when I felt there was absolutely no hope. I was 8 years old, already abused by my parents through alcoholism, beatings, lack of self-esteem, verbal abuse, and fear for my life (they had tried to kill me three times). I woke up in the middle of the night with my father breathing on me. He told me that I was stupid, ugly, no one would ever want to marry me so he was going to take on my sexual education so at least I could get a man by sex. This began a long cycle of sexual abuse. During this time I decided that God didn’t care. I had prayed three prayers, that God would make my father love me and stop, that God would kill my father, that God would kill me. No answer to any of them, the only one I am glad that God didn’t answer at that time was the second one. I was also told that he would kill me if I told anyone, including my mom (also an alcoholic who seemed to provoke my father). I remember sleeping with my hand outside the bed because it was covered in gook but I was afraid to get up. The next morning, after he went to work, I got up and cleaned myself up the best I could. The first words out of my mom’s mouth was, “I heard him in your room last night, tell me what he did.” She wrote it down in notebooks, filling up at least two of them over the space of years. I grew up hating that question, and sleep ceased to be safe because I never knew when he would come into my room. My mom never missed a time of asking me what he did.

     

    I gave up on God, gave up on hope, gave up on me, and stockpiled a can of Draino in case things got too bad (when I got older the Draino was replaced by the anti-depressant drugs and sleeping pills therapists prescribed that I never took the way they intended). It put a wedge in anything seemingly normal in my life. I had a hidden life. I also felt like spoiled goods (and it wasn’t until later that I realized he took away my virginity, I guess I blocked that out). I also felt that something was wrong with me that my own parents couldn’t love me, that I was somehow awful. I spent most of my life imitating others to appear “normal” but feeling very abnormal. This began a period of many decades of depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, and stupid choices that only made me feel worse about myself. It all started with that first visit.

     

    *********

    The happiest time in my life was when I got baptized and all the darkness fell off of me. I really felt like a new creation, and God gave me back my life. It took two years of a lot of loving conversation with Pastor Don to help me to realize that God did love me, that I hadn’t committed the sin that God couldn’t forgive. That I was not spoiled goods, that each and every sin I had committed could be forgiven. I said the sinner’s prayer and the next time baptism came up, I obeyed and was baptized. I have to tell you I was scared because there was a fear that God wouldn’t want me, but He did. And it has not been a trouble free time since then, but God has helped me to grow and learn more about Him. Our relationship daily grows stronger.

     

    But if you are looking for a more mundane period of happiness, my marriage to Jim has been blessed, and most recently he threw me a surprise birthday party. At that time I was surrounded by my Christian friends and family, and felt for the first time that I was given a new family that loved me. God had healed that gigantic hole in my life.

     


     

    From left to right around table, Sonny, Loretta, Jim (my husband) my three kids, Edward, Katherine, Christopher, me (in the Red), the tip of Pastor Don’s head peeking over his wife Cynthia, my friend Julie and Tommy.

     

    ****

    Yes I have kept a secret. My husband turned sixty a few years ago and we were arranging a surprise visit from relatives. I could not tell him, hard as it was, but the trip fell through due to health reasons of my sister. I have to tell you that I am not comfortable keeping secrets from my husband, so don’t do it. I even tell him about close calls in driving the car. Perhaps it is a reaction to not wanting to fall back into the patterns of the past. I have not told my kids all about my past, that is a need to know basis.

     

    Heather

  • Jamie asked this:


    This is an honest to good question:


    What is Sin? 


    I know what it says in Galations but, for an unbeliever, what is it??


    ********************************************************************


    There is no double standard for sin – if you concede that there is absolute truth, there cannot be degrees of sin. Sin is sin is sin. The unbelievers will be as accountable for their actions as believers – we can see in Revelation that all will stand before the throne of God and be judged. That being said, God is a just judge, and he will deal justly. No one will walk away from the throne of God believing that their outcome was unfair. God knows more than we do, and knows a person’s heart. But for us we have been given a remarkable gift of salvation and liberty from sin, all we need to do is repent and ask Jesus into our hearts. The truth be told, when we go before God we go alone. We will not be compared with another. We will stand on our works and actions, sins and faith. God will not compare us with another. So what really matters is if we have accepted Jesus into our lives.


    In our discipleship course, Pastor Don wrote about sin something that might be helpful.


    A Fisherman’s Definition of Sin (page 101)


     ”    Sin is behavior in thought or deed that is contrary to the nature of or in violation of God’s laws. The Bible says, “whatever is not from faith is sin” (Romans 14:23). Doubt, unbelief, worry, any fear other than fear of God is also sin, especially if improperly given more place than Faith. Any thought or action that is “unloving” is sin. All the above separate us from God and ultimately violate self. We are created beings capable of violating our own best interest and design. God’s love for us and His need to be loved caused Him to give us “free will.” This “free will” means that we can and must continually make choices. Sometimes we choose immediate gratification based on false information and violate God, self and others. Sin usually has instant rewards. If nothing else, sin is the result of the flesh (carnal nature) pleasing the self.”


    **********


    We cannot put a meter on sin, all sin is sin – all sin kills. But the consequences of the sins we commit could vary – stealing a pack of gum could get a reprimand, killing someone in some states could cost you your life. Sowing and reaping is guaranteed.  Our actions will impact our future. Tell one small lie and get caught, then many will not believe any words out of your mouth. We can ask God for a crop failure in our lives, that the things that we have sowed will be reduced or destroyed so that we do not reap the full harvest from our sins. But God is sovereign and He will do what is just.


    John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”


    God is absolute truth, absolute justice, absolute love, absolute grace, etc. While we, in our limited understanding cannot comprehend how God can be judge and loving at the same time, God can and does do just that. There is an absolute standard of right and wrong – and God has laid down the rules in his Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth (BIBLE). These rules and commandments (Jesus got them down to two – love God and love each other), are there for our good, because like a good parent, God knows the consequences of disobedience. Adam and Eve allowed satan to come in and take over earth by one act of disobedience. When we obey God we will find greater joy and happiness.


    Although people might say that it is unfair that we are judged by this standard, and those who don’t know the standard are then left out. That is not true. The Laws of Moses, the Ten Commandments are a ruler to let us know that we can’t keep all the law without God. But Abraham did not have the Law of Moses, yet many of the things we read about in Genesis are precursers of the Law and of Jesus. The law is there written in our blood, in our conscience, in our being. Most cultures have basic laws about not killing each other, not stealing from each other, and other laws to keep society civilized.


    Unbelievers cannot pretend that they have no evidence of their creator, it is written in creation. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how interconnected all of creation is, and that at the very least there had to be an intelligent designer.


    I spent 40 years in sin, hating God, disregarding all of his rules. I felt, as many in the new age do, that I was god, that I was in control, that I could make my rules and live by them. The problem that we have is that people are pretty self-centered, and if left to it’s own logical conclusion, we would end up at each other’s throats because we would violate each other’s “freedom.” To be truly free we need to obey something. And God gives us a choice. We can choose to obey one who loves us, one who loved us so much to die for us for our sin’s forgiveness, or we can choose to obey the enemy, the flesh, that which is out to destroy us. We have a choice.


    We cannot weigh sins on a scale either. We cannot say, ”I told a little white lie, you told a whopper.” A lie is a lie is a lie. Once we let one tiny, tiny sin in, we are polluted. Imagine a glass of white, pure milk. Take one drop of chocolate syrup and mix it into the milk. Stir it up and taste. It will look like pure milk, smell like pure milk, taste like pure milk, but scientific analysis will detect the tiny drop of syrup that destroys the purity of the milk. Sin is like that, we are all sinners.


    What I find amazing is that Jesus died for our sins, took them on Himself, and all we have to do is to accept this remarkable gift that He gave us. Some people feel that we have to work out our salvation – that good works will get us in Heaven. It is not true. It is not works, it is His Grace that provides our salvation. But once saved, we do love Jesus and are so touched by His love for us that we want to help do the work of the kingdom. If we did nothing, He would still love us, but in loving Him, we want to help.


    I hope this is helpful. I am open to others comments on this topic which is a great topic.


    Heather

  • My husband just posted these pictures to the family. He went out this morning and after he turned the corner from our road to the next, he saw this bear. It is a huge bear. Right now we have to be careful because of bears and cubs, so we are not encouraging the kids to go out alone. The bear was attacking some garbage.



     



    My husband did not open the window of the car to get a better picture for obvious reasons.


    Heather

  • For a bit of a change of pace I am going to reinstitute something we haven’t seen on Xanga in awhile. The ability to ask three questions. I promise to answer the questions about myself or things, but please keep them decent questions. If you like let me know and I will return the favor and ask you some questions. I will intersperse the question answers with Bible studies. Last time I thouroughly enjoyed the questions and comments.


    Heather