June 8, 2006
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Tonight I go back to the school to watch my oldest get his academic awards. Katherine got five yesterday, and one to come. Spanish, Social studies, Music, Technology, and English. She will get band later on because her teacher did not submit the forms in time. To get an academic award the Grade Point average in the subject must be 95. The two subjects she did not get them in are advanced placement classes and her grades are still in the 90′s.
Today is my husband’s day of humor. He forwarded this in an email to me, some of the definitions are so funny. Enjoy.
ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST
The Washington Post published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men
Comments (7)
Tell your husband that was just too funny! Thanks because I needed that! In Christ……Monic
Congratulations to your children! That is a wonderful accomplishment. Love the definitions!
Congratulations….what wonderful accomplishments! ~ ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST …some very interesting definitions!
RYC: We are praying for complete healing of my sister-in-law’s brain tumor and that the Lord will help when there is unbelief. It is no longer growing it is just changing shapes and she seems resigned to the fact that this may take her life. My husband wanted her to have the operation but has since thought otherwise. We really just want to love on them while they are here with us in San Diego. Thanks for your prayers
LOL…
Congratulations on the tremendous accomplishments of your two! You should all be very pleased! The humor had be laughing aloud several times.
~ Carolyn
Great Post!!
Oh too funny!! I love the last one, definintion of circumvent.