May 21, 2006
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Strongholds
Continuing on with what I have been trying to absorb with the Beth Moore study, still hurting, but today I went through the motions of doing what needed to be done.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
Again a study of phrases and words – “divine power to demolish strongholds (pulling down strongholds)”stronghold” comes from the word echo which means to hold fast. It could be any point or argument in which you trust. Beth puts it so succinctly, p. 184 “anything we hold onto that ends up holding us. Demolish means to destroy with tremendous power. Again, with her gift of words Beth says, “…we swat at our strongholds like they are mosquitoes. Strongholds are like concrete fortresses we’ve constructed around our lives block by block, ordinarily over the course of years. We created them, whether or not we were aware, for protection and comfort. Inevitably, however these fortresses become prisons. At some point we realize we no loner control them. They control us.” P 184
Heather’s notes: This one hits a raw nerve in me. I sometimes think I am a weak fighter of those strongholds, for it is so easy to slip back into a pattern that I am used to. And yet, God will help to change them and I guess we have to look at our past victorious battles to gain encouragement over our present battles.
One battle in my past was giving up the desire to kill myself. From the age of 8 on I always kept some sort of way to commit suicide. At 8 I squirreled away a can of Draino, figuring if things got too bad I could take that and die – that was the only poison I could get my hands on. As I got older I started snitching pills from my sister’s medicines that were no longer being used and hid them, I researched death, wrote poems about death, spent most of my life in depression and despair. And lived a lifestyle that could easily have led to my death. The therapists I saw also prescribed sleeping pills and anti-depressants, which added to my stash. A few years ago, after I got saved they were finally discarded. But I remember after a foiled suicide attempt, my sister-in-law made me promise that I wouldn’t kill myself until my 18th birthday. I kept that promise, counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until that glorious moment – and finally a group of pagans befriended me, giving me some unconditional love – and because of that love I was finally able to make a feeble attempt at deciding I would live – year by year after 18. But I kept those suicidal thoughts, dreams, fantasies and kept that way out for year after year after year. It took a long time to begin to let go of that stronghold of death and begin to look forward to life. I credit God and his agent, Pastor Don, for that change of focus.
Yet, I still struggle with other strongholds, eating for comfort, depression, low-self esteem, and other areas that are still affected from my past that haven’t been rooted out. My concept of God is slowly undergoing a renovation, but it is slow, and I still sometimes fear that one day I am going to come to God and He is going to push me away or give up on me or something. There are strongholds that have to be dealt with, and I know that I can’t do it on my own.
I sure wish that sometimes once we get saved that the rest would sort itself out instantly, that things would be perfect and comfortable, but God doesn’t work that way, at least in my life. I think He is building me up to trust Him more, to depend on Him, and to let Him fix things His way, not the way I think it should be. Oh do I struggle at times, but there is comfort in that – for that relationship is real, and He is there helping me sort things out.
Beth Moore put it so clearly when she says, “At peak strength, human effort is useless in demolishing strongholds. No amount of discipline or determination will do it. Satanic strongholds require divine demolition.”
Heather’s note but divine demolition hurts and right now the hurt is immense.But we must remember that satan is the father of lies, and bluffs, making us feel that our strongholds are too much for God, that we can’t overcome them, that we are stuck in that situation. We need to stop believing that lie, to seek the truth of God in the midst of the struggle.
Another phrase, “We demolish arguments and every pretension” Arguments in Greek is “logismos” which means a reckoning, calculation, consideration, reflection. They are the rationalizations we make for keeping our strongholds. And unfortunately, as Beth says, “Satan persists where a stronghold exists.”
Heather’s note: For me, I think that I best saw how easy it is to make excuses for our sins when I realized how much I rationalized the breaking of some of the 10 Commandments because of the hurt and pain I had in the past, and thus I made excuses. It finally dawned on me that no matter the excuse, it was still a sin, and as such I needed a savior. It was then that I could get free of some of the things that were destroying me.
Pretension in Greek is “hupsoma” which means something made high, elevated, a high place, a proud adversary, a lofty tower or fortress built up proudly by the enemy, pride. Based on those definitions, Beth Moore came up with three conclusions about strongholds.
1. Every stronghold is related to something we have exalted to a higher position than God in our lives.
2. Every stronghold pretends to bring something we feel we must have: aid, comfort, the relief from stress, or protection.
3. Every stronghold in the life of a believer is a tremendous source of pride for the enemy. Let that make you mad and determine to stop giving him satisfaction. P. 185
Basically we need humility to be set free from our bondage. These definitions really hurt because I can see it now, at first I couldn’t when I got saved. One example is that I often felt that maybe God couldn’t forgive me because of the extent of my sins, and how horrid I was. Someone told me that was the sin of pride because that is saying that Jesus didn’t do enough on the cross to cover me. And I do see that the main source of many of my strongholds is in reaction to past situations, and trying to find relief from the emotions connected with them. I still struggle with showing any emotion – which is a bondage in itself.
Phrase 3, “That sets itself up against the knowledge of God” The Greek word for sets itself up, “epairo” means to hoist up as a sail, lift the eyes, look upon. Satan wants to be worshipped, to draw our attention away from God. Our best defense to that is to turn to the Word of God, the truth of God. But how easy it is to doubt this truth. Just think of the first time satan reared his ugly head, to Eve, casting doubt about what God said would be the result of eating the forbidden fruit. Truth is, there is a need in us to worship something, it can either be God or an idol of some sort, God is safer – but so often I resort to the idols of the strongholds in my life.
Phrase 4: “we take captive every thought” – take captive is from the Greek “aichmalotizo – meaning a prisoner, captive. subdue bring into subjection. Isn’t it true that we so often want a quick fix for our problems, but I don’t think God deals in quick fixes, I think He would rather go for deep, sure, secure healing, that forms a relationship and a lifestyle in line with Him. I guess sometimes He lets me face the discomfort of the stronghold to make me aware that He has a better way, and I still keep beating my head against the stronghold. I can honestly say that God’s way is far better than my way but some of the same old survival patterns that were so necessary when I was a kid are not needed now, but still I use them to protect myself from others and keep God at bay – and all they do is isolate.
Phrase 5 “to make it obedient to Christ” which is in reality the only way to become victorious over our strongholds. I think that no matter which way we choose, God or satan’s strongholds, we are led by some sort of rein (imagine horses). Satan’s rein will lead us to death, destruction, hurt and pain, God’s will lead us to places that bring joy – even though you may have to travel through the pain to get there. I am learning very, very, very slowly that God has my best interests in mind – satan doesn’t. And so if I have to be obedient to someone, God is definitely the safer choice. Sometimes I think that we see the day to day, and God is looking far beyond that to an eternity with Him, so while his leading can sometimes hurt, the end result will be worth the discomfort of the present.
I still struggle in my view of God, for I think how our parents treat us can color our perception of God. When I was a kid, if someone said, “I love you.” It meant that they wanted something from me and it would hurt. But God, I am learning isn’t like that. He want to build up, not tear down and destroy. Although sometimes some tearing down is necessary to build a stronger foundation.
I still can use prayer for right now my emotions are so raw. Thanks.
Hope your Sunday was good.
Heather
Comments (11)
[I sure wish that sometimes once we get saved that the rest would sort itself out instantly, that things would be perfect and comfortable, but God doesn't work that way, at least in my life.]
In every Christian’s life. We wouldn’t need any faith or trust if God made everything perfect right when we got saved. I’m praying…
Larry
Heather, you left a comment on my xanga, and I came to your site to see who you were. I read your post and something caught my eye. You said you wondered if God could forgive things in your past. We are a new creation in Christ. You have died to those things in your past. That is no longer who you are. Praise God for renewing us each day!
I actually wanted to thank you for your word of encouragement on my xanga. I look forward to hearing from you in the future.
Heather, I’m sorry that you are so raw with emotion right now… I can sympathize… I feel like I’ve taken 3 steps back over the last week and a half. I praise God that He loves me despite the baggage that I continue to pick up at times and carry ~ and He just patiently walks beside me waiting for me to hand the burdensome load over to Him. I’m tired and I know that you are, but I hold hope that in every instance of past struggle, He has shown me even greater truths about Himself. I love you and pray that you will find renewed strength and passion today. ~Sherry
I’ve gone through many of those same struggles. I can tell you, as one who has come out victouriously, that once you get past them and taste the victory that God WILL give you, there is no sweeter feeling and you’ll actually find yourself thankful for the struggles…for you would never know that closeness to God that comes from the struggles if they had never happened. Your openness of your pain is a great step forward. I think exposing a lot of those feelings and lies that keep us tormented has a way of breaking the stronghold they have on us. They’re not our “secret pain” anymore and therefore don’t have the same affect.
Have a blessed day!
Michele
Heather, I was contected to your site thru a friend’s site. I have done this Beth Moore Bible study recently. I hear your pain. I can not fathom how deep it goes or how much it truly is cutting at you. Please keep working at this study. One thing I have been learning (and relearning a lot) is that when we are having the hardest time getting in to God’s Word or going to church, that is when Satan is working the hardest against us. There is a message that God wants us to hear or learn. Beth does mention in this study that when we are the most tired it is when we are doing the work and not letting God fight the spiritual battle(pg 219). Give the fight over to Him. Keep working on this study. It has changed me. You can be transformed too. Trust God and let His Holy Spirit comfort you. I will be praying for you!
I am so sorry for the things that happened to you as a child. How Christ must have wept when all that evil was being poured out on you!!!! In the book of Genesis God saw the how wicked man had become and it broke His heart. Genesis 6:6 tells us “the Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.” How costly it was for Him to give us the freedom to choose good or evil. Because of that innocent lives are devoured. No wonder Christ suffered so much pain and agony. The evils due to the fall cost not only the human race, but also His Son, greatly. Only through Christ can restoration happen. Keep the faith, keep crying out to Him, and keep loving the person you are, joy does come in the morning….Prayers and Blessings…Vel
Heather,just wanted to share this promise of God with you.
Psalms 147:3 – He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds and griefs.
Your post touched me greatly today so I had to comment. I read but often don’t comment – I know others do that too and maybe from time to time we just need to know someone is out there! Someone cares! You are loved. I too have demons and I find that I must cultivate them in spite of myself – just one ounce of doubt and bam those demons are back again. I enjoy wallowing in self-pity and that keeps me further inflicted. I am bitter and have problems forgiving myself and thus others….may you be blessed in your pain! For it is not what a man says standing on his head, or balancing on one foot. It is what a man says on his knees.
["...He would rather go for deep, sure, secure healing.... old survival patterns that were so necessary... not needed now, but still I use them..." ]
I’ve been thinking along some of the same lines lately, so reading your thoughts blessed me, Heather. I have been aware for some time now that I have what i call an “orphan mentality”. It helped me survive and grow in a sense… but now it’s hindering me from fully benefiting from receiving what I want and need so desperately. So I’ve been praying about that for me…
There are lots of good thoughts in what you wrote about the study, thanks for taking the time to share from your heart. Love in Jesus, ~Irene
The more you write and talk about the things inside of you, it comes out into the light! It don’t hide in the darkness, it exposes those devil lies and the light shines on that pain so it cannot hide. By keeping going forward in your walk in this will bring “freedom and be victorious! I will be in prayer for you as you run the race!
God is love and He is faithful. Only through our challenges in life, we come to realizet that God’s love for us is beyond this world.