May 10, 2006
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Today has not been a stellar day for me, after a year of working with my Girl Scouts to raise money for a weekend at Rocking Horse Ranch, yesterday my daughter informed me she is figuring it will be a miserable weekend, because of certain conditions – one of them being me, the other being the endless worry about pairing of kids, and the fact that two of the girls tend to hang together and exclude her, and the fourth girl tends to stick with her mom, and Katherine doesn’t want to deal with me. These could be untrue situations, but her imagination is running wild. For some reason she changed from being so sweet on Saturday where we had a splendid mother/daughter day to being a shrew – and truthfully there was nothing I did or said to merit the kind of abuse I got. In the car driving home last night from our meeting she was pretty nasty, so I started praying under my breath- it was either pray or say something I would regret later – then both my daughter and my son started yelling at me for being annoying because I was praying. sigh.
After I dropped a book off for my son this morning I saw her, and told her that we don’t have to go, I can get the money refunded to the troop. She then said, I’ll go, but in such a way that it was apparent that it would be with longsuffering. I came home later than she did today and I think my husband talked with her because she said she wanted to go, and that she loved me, and it doesn’t help. The joy of the weekend has been sucked out for me. Yet, before I got home in my heart to heart with God, I had forgiven her, prayed for her, and sort of calmed down. I don’t know if I am ever going to be able to survive the teenage years of my kids. I also know that I have to work on my attitude and make the weekend fun again.
Well, the interesting thing is that I sat down because the kids are out and about and picked up my Beth Moore Breaking Free Bible study, and what are we discussing? God’s unfailing love. This topic I needed today!
I want to share it with you, but by having you actually do some of the work yourself, it is kind of cool. Material is pulled from pages 160-162 of the book.
She talks about Isaiah 54:10 “‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Then she gives us the Hebrew meaning for the word compassion – racham which means to soothe, cherish, love deeply like parents, be compassionate be tender, it refers to a strong love, rooted in a natural bond, often from a superior to an inferior – and then part of the definition is small babies evoke this feeling.
She then talks about how teenagers are probably difficult (difficult?????knock me over with a feather) to make it easier for parents to push them out of the nest. Makes sense to me.
But then Beth says, ” All our lives God retains the strong feelings toward us that infants evoke in their parents. Do you realize why? Because He never has to let us go! God is not rearing us to be independent of Him. He’s not rearing us to leave home! God is rearing us to come home!” p. 160
Now my Bible (NKJV) – uses the word Mercy in the refrain, but the NIV Bible uses the word Love – in this case I think Love is a good word.
We were told to read Psalm 136 and find the main theme of the chapter. Which is:___________________________________________________________.
We then broke down the verses to the following categories: God the Creator, God the Conqueror, God the Compassionate one – (an example verse 1 = “for He is Good – would go under compassionate).
Then Beth says, that God’s works change, but His love stays simple, steady, and strong. And then she adds (and this is true) that the moment we think we’ve grasped His ways, figured out His methods, they change.
We read Isaiah 55:8-11 (another good thing to read),
Then we had to write four statements reflecting variables in our life.
And then (the cool part) we added the refrain from 136 between the four statements – thus writing a very personal and simple Psalm.
We then read Romans 8:38-39 – and again put in personal things in the following blanks,
For I am convinced that neither __________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
will separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Then Beth mentioned how Nazi war camp prisoners were sometimes loaded on a train to be transported to a death camp, and she said this: “If we don’t allow God’s truth to take up full residency in our hearts, we may learn just enough to move out of one prison into another. We’ll probably echo the words of Psalm 51:6 many times before our study concludes: “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the innermost place.”
That is as far as I have gone in Day one of this week’s lesson, family came home and I have to get dinner together because my daughter’s middle school band concert and chorus is tonight. I will share more with you as I do more of the lesson, but I am so grateful to God to have instigated the lessons to give me one in season that I needed. And I suspect that I will be muttering to myself, Even though ________ happens, His love endures forever. I need to hold onto that thought.
Hope you are having a peaceful and wonderful day, and know that He also loves us in the peaceful and wonderful days, I wouldn’t mind one of those myself.
Heather
Comments (13)
I can relate to your daughter in that a few years ago I, too, thought I was “too cool” or something to hang out with my mom, and unfortunantly, I probably made my mom feel like you do now. The good news is that as the years have progressed, I actually ENJOY spending time with my mom, and after I got through those difficult mid-teen years, we became great friends. Hang in there, and realize that half the stuff she says she probably doesn’t mean.. and when she grows up a bit she’ll realize how lucky she is to have a mom who cares and wants to spend time with her.
Teenage years are fun…uh huh….lol
Have a blessed day!
Michele
Awesome how God teaches us His messages in so many different ways!
enjoyed reading this post, very good word thank you
Donald
Sometimes we forget what we did and how we were as kids. I too had loving caring parents as your daughter does. But I am impressed that she walked up and for whatever reason said she would go and that she loved you. I most likely would not have at her age.
I remember my own conduct every time the boys or my 20 year old do something similar. I just tell myself that I will unconditionally be there for when and if they decide to change their mind. When they do change it, then we talk. I will wait for a day or two afterwards if they do not change their minds and explain how my parents handled situations like this. I then ask how they want me to conduct myself in the future and what they can do to improve.
Love reading your posts and have a great day. All our best thoughts,
justmarty
Our prayers are with you,
God Bless,
Robert
I had actually never before in my college career had a coffee study meeting. It was kind of cool. I don’t know if they added a shot of espresso, but I think that they did.
I hope that y’all do have a good weekend! They might not appreciate it right now or for a little while, but it’s great that you’re a praying mom instead of a yelling mom. Hearing the call to pray instead of get angry would probably help me out a lot in my relationship with my mom and my siblings. Best wishes!
Hehe, why want things to turn around when lemons make such great lemonade, and crap makes such great fertalizer. God is growing me through the stuff. thanks for your prayers and for keeping in touch.
Thanks for joining the Young At Heart Believers Blog Ring!!
Mike
Hey there Heather. I can totally relate to what your daughter said and what you are going through. I’ve had ALL 5 of my daughters go through my youth group and have had the same talk with ALL of them.and there is about 90 -100 in my group, but it was still a problem. I would love to talk to you , if you wanted. my work # is 1-800-255-9111. thanks rex
remember to pray ALL ways..
Heather, Something for you to consider and think and pray about. If you can get this money back for the girl scout weekend… perhaps you should do so and take your daughter on a private weekend that is reserved for just the two of you. I know that right now she is acting like she doesn’t need or want you one minute and the next she is loving and accepting to you. It’s a very scary, uncertain time for her. I think that often, we moms who have been through some bad stuff in our past as children and teens get a feeling like our kids should be grateful and they have nothing to complain about or make them act like brats. However, this world is a much more vile and insecure place as a whole than the world that we grew up in. (and I’m not talking about our private worlds)… but most kids today are filled with such uncertainty, fear, insecurity and rage because of constantly being bombarded by insideous evil.
Another thing to remember is that because your relationship with the Lord is still relatively new to you and to them, and it is an extremely important relationship to you, as it should be, and it is causing constant transformation and transition for not only you, but for them as well, your children are most likely feeling frustrated, angry and resentful at you and at God because of it. Your daughter may just need a quiet, fun, intimate, one on one weekend with her mom. Time you can spend loving her, talking to her and listening to her as well as sharing your hopes, fears, struggles, victorious with her. She needs to know that SHE is a priority to you and not just another event on the calender. I don’t know, it was just my first impression as I read your need.
I end with this: “Lord, I pray that you will break down the walls that have been built and remove any fears or deceptions that stand before Heather and her daughter. Give Heather wisdom to fully love, protect and guide her child in this terribly difficult time of her life. I pray for a sense of security for this whole family. May You have authority and power of them; hem them in, behind and before them… place Your hand upon them so that wherever they go and whatever they do, they will be accompanied by Your presence. Lord Jesus as Your Word says in Malachi, turn the hearts of these parents toward their children and the childrens’ hearts toward their parents. Bless them Lord, may they have your abundant favor today.
I’m going to find my book,and see what I wrote! I dont know how old your daughter is, but maybe some of her mood swings are hormonal. My one daughter gets pms symptoms. She is more verbal,and things upset her more. She’s 20 and has been like that for about 5 years. The teen years are hard! I have seen the Lord answer so many prayers for my kids that God has blessed me through these tumultuous years. Hugs Heather!
Happy Mother’s Day!!