Hi again…I just read your whole testimony. That is an absolutely amazing testimony.   As a pastor I am again reminded of how softly to walk when I am dealing with abuse .

I was also a social worker for 14 years so I know the mandate for me  as both a pastor (for 26 years now) and a social worker (I still have a state license) to report.

The one time things got  serious in sexual abuse in one of our families, I called the dad to talk to me (with my husband– we are co pastors) and told him he had to turn himself in or I would.  He did. The miracle was that he (a prison guard !) did not go to prison — they made him go to counseling with a prescribed program (abusive dads group therapy) and made him move out of his house for a year.   And, he did not lose his job as a prison guard.

BUT , subsequent to his “outing”, the family has been shattered.  One son is in prison for life without parole for both sexually abusing and murdering his INFANT son (I was the first one he told that he did it….we were in the hospital visiting the severely wounded and on the way to death infant).  

The mom later divorced the father and remarried. The kids scattered.

I knew I “had to ” “out” him….legally. But , even if I did not have to , I knew I could not live with the knowledge I had knowing that not only this 12 year old girl would continue to be abused , but also there were 2 more daughters in the home. And, because there had been much homosexual predatory abuse in that family , I was also even concerned about the sons in that home!

YES, “outing” is painful. Horrible.

The abuse is perpetuated when there is no light cast on it.  But the family may fall apart if the light shines on that darkness.

You have NO idea how horrible it is to be the one who knows and then has to decide what steps to take! Then , in the process of confronting this issue,  I wondered if my life will be threatened.  I wondered if other wounded people would continue to trust me. I told this man (in the midst of all that mess) that I loved him. He asked how could I love him and want him “turned in” at the same time.   He did NOT understand that love sometimes cares enough to put a stop to an evil situation and also…I believe that when we confront someone and they choose to repent, then they will eventually be very grateful that we were used by
God to stop them in their tracks and help them to get back into the safety of God’s will in their life.

The good news is that this dad and I can now see each other (I went to an open house for one of his daughter’s in his home last year) and the atmosphere between us is peaceful and loving. Amazing. And, his ex wife, even then remarried, was at that same open house and they were kind to one another.  So, I know that, in Christ , people can  forgive and move on into  Agape love. But –what a PRICE they are all paying for his sin and the sins of the fathers before him (he was abused too!)

Anyway…your testimony really, really blessed and challenged me.

BTW –I was into the occult some too and the Lord delivered me….and, in 1968 I ran off to Haight Ashbury in San Fransisco and lived through the summer of ’68 there, getting high every day and acting like I lost my mind (directly after getting a BA degree from Grand Rapids Calvin College!!!).

So, you see, we have some things in common.

Don’t worry….I usually don’t read/write this much to any one person this often…’ know that you do NOT have a “new friend” on your hands who usually has this much time to relate. I know that can be scary because most of us do not have that much time/energy to relate that much. I know I don’t — so don’t think I am a person knocking at your door threatening to be the fish or visitor that stinks after a few days…..

Your Pastor Don sounds wonderfully wise…what a gift.