April 9, 2006
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Friday I had an appointment with Pastor Don, but we only had a few minutes to touch base because something came up for him that he had to do. This seldom happens, but this time it was bad timing for me. We did talk a bit, but not about the one thing that was really touching my heart, the emotional pain I had been hurting with for some time now. I guess I have a feeling that I have to tough it out, that I should know better because I have the book knowledge. That somehow I should get it together on my own, and in many situations, to not even bother God with it.
I mentioned a few of the issues to Pastor Don, telling him that I probably need to make another appointment, and in the mentioning of the few issues I started getting choked up. He offered me his office to have a good cry in, before I joined the Bible study, but the second the tears came up, they were already under control. The office would not have helped. For me tears are pushed down the second I feel them emerging.
As a kid, if I cried it could have meant my life – literally. I learned to control tears, shed the right amount, not too many/not too few. But it was controlled. When I was hurting badly I held the tears in for fear that they would get out of control, but then when I was alone and I could have cried, I was not able to shed them, for they were buried too deeply.
I don’t think that I have ever cried with abandon, or cried over the hurts I received. Pastor Don seems to think that tears are good, and help to relieve some of the stress and keeps blood pressure from rising from stress. Tears terrify me. And yet, the tears are there, and at times they rear their ugly heads, sigh. What do you think about tears?
Wish the tears would disappear, wish I could find that peaceful state that seems to elude me. Wish I could just numb out again, numb is so much better than hurting.
Guess I could use a few prayers as I cope with this stuff.
Heather
Comments (32)
I’ve just learned to cry over the past couple of years. I also write in a personal journal a LOT. I write out my pain. I’ll say a prayer for you, sis.
Michele
Tears are good. It means you are opening up. The freedom we have in Christ allows feelings to become free too. There is a lot of hurt in your life. Crying is OK. Will pray.
Tim
Tears are good … cry.
Our Lord knows every tear drop that falls and He is aquainted with greif. Depend on him, you don’t have to get it together on your own!
Curl up in HIS lap and have a good cry … He’s an amazing comforter.
Precious friend, I do believe tears are good, but more importantly what does our Lord think about tears? Well, I have been comforted to read this–click here…Praying for you…With much love, Paula
Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 – To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Have a great Lord’s Day Heather!
larry
IN PSALM 6, DAVID WATERED HIS COUCH WITH HIS TEARS…
PSALM 42, TEARS WERE HIS FOOD DAY & NIGHT….
PSALM 56, HE ASKED GOD TO BOTTLE HIS TEARS…
BUT THESE ARE MY 2 FAVORITE…
PSALM 116:8…For Thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.
PSALM 126:5-6…They that sow in tears shall reap in joy…He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
EVEN JESUS WEPT…& SUMTIMES I WISH I COULD CRY MORE….
I DID DO SUMTHING REALLY WRONG A WHILE BACK…I WENT INTO MY BEDROOM & I KNOW HOW PETER FELT WHEN HE WEPT BITTERLY…I COULDN’T STOP CRYING…BUT YA KNOW WHAT??….THAT WUZ ONE OF THE TIMES THAT I FELT THE CLOSEST TO GOD…. ;o)
I’M PRAYING FOR YA….& DON’T BE AFRAID TO CRY TO OUR ABBA…
)
greg <><
Lately I have wanted to take flight rather often…would love to just fly away and leave all this junk behind……would it help???? probably not lol kids follow you! Hope everything gets better for you soon. Thank GOD for His grace and His mercy….His undying love for us and His forgiveness! Blessings………T
Thanks for your comment.. I know its very needed in this time that we live in.
Yep. Regarding the manuscript, The Bible says Jesus predicted His betrayal. There are also many doubts raised. So the manuscript isn’t that reliable after all.
.Kenneth
I can definitely relate
“I don’t think that I have ever cried with abandon, or cried over the hurts I received” ~ Heather, for me, tears were a huge part of forgiving those who have hurt me deeply in the past. It was a very necessary part of the healing process for complete forgiveness on my part. I needed to grieve.
Here is what Neil Anderson says on page 196 of ‘The Bondage Breaker’ “How do you forgive from the heart? First you acknowledge the hurt and the hate. If your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional core of your past, it will be incomplete. This is the great evangelical cover-up. Christians feel the pain of interpersonal offenses, but we won’t acknowledge it. Let God bring the pain to the surface so He can deal with it. This is where the healing takes place. Ask God to bring to your mind those you need to forgive as you read the following prayer outloud:”
Remember that no matter how knowledgeable you are that God wants our lives He wants you to share your hurt with Him if you don’t how can He begin to heal your hurt. When the Lord blesses me it is usually through tears.
Love ya, Darlena
There are some wonderful comments. Book knowledge isn’t the same as knowing Him. He wants us to depend on Him, to desire Him. He wants to wipe away our tears and bring healing. He already knows everything about us. I have found in my life that he has used painful situations to make me stronger not so that I don’t need Him but so that the enemy can’t have victory over me. That strength just makes me that much more grateful to the Lord and that much closer to Him. I wish I could say that every area of my life was so, but of course there is still plenty to work on.
I think for me I tend not to cry at times because it shows lack of control,and how can someone who looks like they have it together,cry? Holding in emotion,that God designed in us isnt good. But when that very thing that God has given to us to use has been made to be supressed,it cant be easy to just let go. A good cry would be healing for you! To be able to cleanse your heart and soul of painful memories,hurts and despair that have been bottled up inside for so long could only be cleansing. I think the Beth Moore study your doing now makes us look into our past,brings pain to the surface,and only God can help with the process. Where would you feel safe to cry? Could you go into your bedroom,and start praying to God about your desire to feel safe to cry,that might open up the floodgates. You as an adult need to know your allowed to cry,those past worldly pressures are no longer a part of who you are now. Just some random thoughts.Hugs!
I saw you visited my blog. You don’t know me, but realize what grannyfox said is true. Pain is not a bad thing in our lives, let God use it for good, to bring healing and strength to us. It’s in our weakness and pain, that God can do his best work!
Heather, I don’t remember crying much when I was younger…the cold or indifferent demeanor was much easier to hide the pain behind and I was always ashamed and angry if tears did come because I hated the feeling of losing control ~ actually that controlling nature still is a great struggle for me. When I got saved at 32 however, the flood gates broke open and I cried for 3 days straight… I kid you not! My poor husband thought I had a nervous breakdown and literally had lost my mind. There were tears of joy, anger, shame, pain all mixed in that 3 day time frame. But it was an amazing breakthrough for me. I find that when I am in the deepest intimacy with the Lord, the crying comes naturally and it really is like an offering ~ it’s a healthy sense of brokeness and humility, sharing the innermost part of my heart with the One I have come to trust with everything. I’m praying that you will continue to allow Him to free you from anything that hinders the fullness of that personal intimacy that He so desires to have with you. ~Sherry
I can relate to this. God had completely delivered me from my past. If God can do that to me, to Beth Moore, to Joyce Meyer and many others, He can do the same to you. Maybe bit by bit. But He will. Just because you are His beloved.
God wants you to “bother” Him with all your worries and cares – even your fear of tears. And it’s only going to be through Him that you find your peace and the ability to allow those tears to fall. Tears are a release and sometimes a much needed one. Once you allow yourself the freedom that God gives to all of us to release, I pray that you let those tears flow and just keep flowing until you’ve cried yourself out. Let Him cleanse you…
If you were in front of the body of Christ, I see you tearing as a child. Hey, never forget, you are in front of the body of Christ and he is there just for that reason
Emotions aren’t always good or rational, but I know that we should own them, and express them (something I’m learning). Your life is amazing, how you came to know the Lord, but there is a lot of pain, too, so I am sure that you have a lot of stuff you need to deal with. I urge you to express them…. just like all your other friends on xanga, it seems. Thinking of you.
Wow… you seem like a wonderful girl. How did you come to my site?
Praying for you, sweetie!!!! Tears are GOOD for us; they soften our hearts and I pray, in time, you will be able to shed a bunch!!!
love you, Heather!!!!
Remember He is doing a work in you and you will feel “out of sorts” while He is doing it!!! It’s like He re-adjusts us on the inside.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8
My husband, whom I fully believe is God sent, taught me how okay tears are. I thank God for both him & for my finding out that tears are also God sent! They can be so therapeutic and so healing.
Peace to you!
Do not allow yourself to “tough” it out. When we bottle up emotional stress like this, it has to come out in other ways. This can be anger, depression, drug usage, escapism, or withdrawal to name just a few. A few months ago I recommended a book for you to read. In fact, I strongly recommend it for anyone who faces these kinds of emotional stresses. It is called “The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life,” by Hannah Whitall Smith. You can find it here: http://www.bestprices.com/cgi-bin/vlink/0800780078BT?source=froogle to buy it very cheap or you can go here online and download it for free: http://www.freemethodistchurch.org/PDF%20Files/Resources/The%20Christian's%20Secret%20of%20a%20Happy%20Life.pdf.
It is a old book that has been reprinted many times, like Pilgrim’s Progress. Hendrickson Christian Classics has reprinted it recently. I read it every year, and have given away dozens of copies.
Another book that has been an extreme help for me to use as I have counseled folks that come out of abusive lifestyles is “The Search for Significance Workbook,” by Robert S. McGee. You can find it here: http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?ISBN=0633197564&mscssid=H27F7EUNGW5T9K3MTVJDML8H1L3R8719.
I strongly recommend the last title for you. It has helped a lot of ladies I know personally and have counseled who have come out of abusive situations finally realize their true worth in the Lord and to be healed of their horrendous hurt and pain. While we may think we know we are loved of God, it is a totally different issue in truly realizing it completely without any hindrances from our past.
God’s richest blessing to you. Let me know if these help.
You are in my prayers! tears are good and they help release stress and tell yourself that you are upset about something. I cay all the time… i use so much that at school they called me crybaby,but I don’t care, crying feels soo good to me and makes me feel like I”m expressing who I am…a human that is a child of God. Of course this is me, but I do think it is good to cry. again I’m praying for you! Thank you for being real and not seeming like you have it all together…b/c no one does!
It appears Miss Heather that there are many here, sharing with you, that God loves us, He created emotions for us to experience all that life has to offer, whether we feel we can handle it or not, if we have had bad experiences with it before, and when it has been the greatest healing moment in our life. God would not have given us these magical, fulfilling emotions, if we were to not use them, that is a tool of Satan.
To completely sum it all up, you are not alone, you are very much loved, both by us and by God Himself, hang in there, God never leads us where He will not lead us us out.
I agree with PastorBlastor, read that book please. I think that is your confirmation to do so. I am now reading “Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ” by Madame Guyon, which is opening the flood gates to wisdom and knowledge of God to me in a wonderful way. Please try not to entertain your own thoughts when they try to flood your mind, just try to release them ALL to Jesus and just begin to use quiet yourself before Him till you experience His presence. The latter book I mentioned just teaches that lesson so well. I can identify with where you are SO well. Please read these books. By the way, Hannah Whitehall Smith’s book can be read online at http://www.ccel.org/s/smith_hw/secret/secret02.htm. It is not by coincidence I came to know your site. There is something just around the corner for you – just try to relax in Christ and take the advice of this man above. Oh, I wanted to tell you I am now in NY to help care for my husband’s ill father. I hope I can share more with you sometimes. Oh wow, I just realized that I just moved nearby to where you are. Perhaps the Lord will allow our fellowship sometimes. Much love, because of Him. Oh, one last thing, my husband’s new web site (which I have been helping with) is http://radiantglory.googlepages.com and Smith’s book is linked to the site. I must admit that the book, Radiant Glory” will change your life when you read it, and all the links are spiritual food. God’s provision is here for you! Blessings, Emily
Yes, I agree, read the book, “The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. Also visit our web site at http://radiantglory.googlepages.com. You will also find a link to that book there and can read it online. I think of you much and will continue to pray for you. Please visit this web site that David and I have been priviledged to work on. I just moved to Albany and hope I can get in touch sometimes.
I thought I lost the comment so now here are three comments!! I guess you are supposed to read that book! Triple blessings to you, in Jesus’ wonderful name!
i understand what u mean about not being allowed to cry when u were younger. so many ppl dont understand that many children arent allowed to cry or to show any feeling. my therapist says that i have to be able to feel all the things that ever happened to me in order to get completely past things that i want to deal with and put away. he also says that u need a very safe environment to share those past hurts. it can be a dangerous place to go alone or in the wrong company. when u feel them and get past things……. let me know what thats like.
jana
Tears are definitely a release.Once upon a time I couldn’t cry. Then God broke my shut off valve and the floods began. Looking back, although embarassing at times, that was really the beginning of my deep inner healing cuz I believe we have to refeel the pain as part the the process to healing and letting it go before we can truly be Free of the pains they covered. In time they leveled out in direct proportion to the old baggage I was carrying. Although there were times i prayed for numb working through the process, keep in mind that one of the benefits of feeling the pain is that once the feelings are dealt with , they can no longer hold you hostage ! And that feels GREAT! The following statement helped me get through alot. I repeated it often.
God will never lead us where His Grace cannot keep us