March 2, 2006
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Heather steps up on soapbox.
Came across the book I Still Believe which has a unique twist. I seem drawn to books these days that talk about how people deal with issues of faith, and sharing their faith. This one intrigues me because instead of instantly arguing with the person, the author listens to their arguments. And truth be told, when I was anti-God, I had some of the same arguments that the author presents in his book, and found out that they didn’t hold water when held up to the light of the truth of the Bible. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to listen to a person who does not believe, not advance your opinion, just ask questions. You might be surprised at how quickly weaknesses in a person’s belief system come out that way. But it shouldn’t be a contest to see who has the superior point of view, just a loving exchange of ideas. You can be obnoxious asking questions too, if you come at it from a self-centered position, not a relationship position. (You can check out my testimony on 10/7/05 to see how far I have come and from what God brought me out of. Those that I talk to about faith look at me in amazement because they cannot believe what I used to be like, God has changed me so much).
I think most people feel that they have to set a person “right” in their erroneous beliefs, or to show them how sinful they are and how they are going to hell. Believe me, when I say this, when I was in the midst of my sinning the Holy Spirit was there convicting me. I wasn’t as comfortable in my sinful ways, but would never admit it to someone else. I think a lot more reaching of people would happen if people just loved and supported others. A small seed at a right time will bear more fruit than all the intense arguments and unbeliever bashing that sometimes goes on. Now this is not a hard, fast rule. There might be times and instances when a more forceful approach is needed, but any reaching out to another person has to be done in love, with the person in mind, not our agenda.
Great quote from the book, p. 11 “Perhaps I believe because I want it to be true. But then, maybe others don’t believe because they want it to be false.” He also is wondering how people who grow up in the church, when they get to college, often drop out because they don’t have ready answers for all the tough questions non-believers present them, so their faith is shaken. On p. 20 he says, “Strong faith doesn’t accept easy answers.”
I think at one point I really wanted Christianity to be false. I wanted to be in total control of my destiny. After awhile, when my life didn’t work right, I was able to recognize that I needed Jesus in my life. But I had to come to that point before I was receptive to Christ.
Another good book that I just finished is the Coffeehouse Gospel by Matthew Paul Turner. What intrigued me about this book is that instead of shoving a belief system down a person’s throat, the author spent time to listen, to hear the other person’s story, and have a real conversation. Much more could be said and received when the conversation was two way. A large argument that lasts long only causes a person to turn off and reject all. Nothing is received and it wastes both people’s time. Far more effective is a word in season that is short and sweet and thought provoking. And if that is coupled with a sincere care and love and desire to keep conversing, the person will be loved into the Kingdom.
I remember people coming up to me and trying to force-feed me religion, and in crises in my life gave me platitudes that only widened the gulf between me and God. Sometimes we, as Christians, need to learn to listen, to just be there, and speak more loudly with our actions than our mouths. We will get further with love than with sermons. We need to edify, not tear downb. When we criticize and seem like we have the superior way all that does is push the person further away from God. When push comes to shove, we are all sinners in need of a savior, no matter how advanced we think we are spiritually.
Heather steps off of her soapbox.
Hope you are enjoying the snow. My kids had a snowday today and it looks like I have to cancel my Girl Scout meeting, sigh.
Heather
Comments (12)
I know kinda what you’re talking about. At lunch with a vendor this week I the subject of evolution came up. Instead of telling him what I believe, I asked him about how that theory stands up against other scientific law and by the time we left, he was really questioning the idea of evolution and was asking me about my beliefs. Pretty cool.
I really enjoyed your post today. You are right! Evangelism never really works without a relationship first.
Nice post!
I totally agree. Hopefully we are living our lives in a way that shows them what we believe….and if we listen to them then they will trust us when they have questions. But if someone is forcing their beliefs on them then it doesn’t matter if they are searching and have questions….they will hesitate going to someone who is forceful or in their eyes judgemental.
Have a blessed day!
Michele
actually heater, the soaking prayer things on my site are not my own, i stole them from a website.
another excellent book discussing the same topic is ‘questioning evangelism’ by randy newman. people don’t want to be preached at, they want to know that they are cared about. and that would include listening to what they have to say without cramming things down their throat. why do so many people change the way they relate to people when they start talking about their faith. it seems to me that this approach…letting people speak, asking questions about what they believe and then share what i believe…seems to be a much more real way to relate to a person.
Great post, Heather!
You’re right, Heather!!! Accepting others and listening to them is really showing them Agape love. We need to let the Holy Spirit bring conviction when HE is ready, not when we want Him to.
love ya…..
I firmly believe that we’re not that persons Holy Spirit,that actions speak louder than words,and it can be a positive or negative experience. Christians are too ready to judge someone of different beliefs,and Christ like love is whats going to change their heart,not judgement. I have learned that the hard way! I know its necessary to have a belief system,and stand up for what Gods word says is true. That comes through discipleship,and not standing on a podium pointing fingers,if that makes sense! Have a good weekend Heather,remember the 5 statements of faith. IBG!!
Very good books. I have read the last one and sort of looked through the first.
Just remember that not everything that I write is just for you to learn from, there are others who come to your site as well that need to hear another view. This is not contention, nor is it meant to be, but a way to learn from someone else who is sharing their thoughts on Scripture in response. That is what a blog is for… right?
BTW… relationship evangelism works! What most believers do not realize is the fact that once you win somone to Christ, you are responsible to make sure they grow in the Lord. It is called discipleship and too few people do it. Most would stay in the faith and become stronger if it was done.
those two books sound interesting and useful. I’ll have to add them to my to-read-someday list! Ican’t believe you have snow!!! Its like 85% here in good ole’ Texas. In the northern part close to dallas is was 98% earlier this week! CRAZY… i know! but i love warm weather…being cold is not fun to me! anyways, have fun in the snow! thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Snow? Snow? But it’s 75 degrees here in ‘Southtown!”
I was disenchanted with a non-denominational church’s teaching on “Holy Boldness.” I was always telling them, “But…if you get someone to open the door to you and you come across boldly, they might shut the door and lock it…never to listen to a message like that again!”
I like St.Francis’ take on preaching…”Preach the gospel always…use words only when necessary.”