October 3, 2005
-
Thank you for your input, before I share what I was going to say about the verse, It is good to talk about what Beth Moore was getting at. She talked about God’s Absolute sovereignty and God’s unfailing love being like bookends, that help us to sort out the issues of our lives.
Regarding the verse, she said, “If the verse makes you uncomfortable, bare your heart before God and try to tell Him why. Don’t fear what He’d do if He saw hues of distrust in the depths of your heart. He knows why they are there better than you do. You might consider asking Him why His sovereignty scares or unsettles you. Perhaps the reason is the missing bookend on one side of the volumes you know about God Most High. Recall Psalm 21:7 God’s sovereignty can terrify us only to the extent that we are uncertain of His love. You and I are never childish or unwise to remind ourselves daily how much God loves us. Only to the extent that we abide in His love can we be comforted by His sovereignty.”
It is funny, but now I can see that resting in God’s love, it is alright for God to do as He pleases in my life because He cares about me and would choose only what is in my best interests.
But years ago, when I was in the midst of abuse and God seemed not to care or respond to my prayers, I got the image of God as being very distant and uncaring. I imagined him as washing His hands of the earth and walking away, or in one short story I wrote, comparing life to an industrial clock. God was the short arrow on the sweeping second hand that never touched the lives of the people (represented by the minute dots), and sweeping by so quickly that people couldn’t even get a sense that He was there.
It took a long, long, long time before I could dare think that God might regard me with love, and even then I was afraid to draw attention to myself because I was sure if God was aware I was in His kingdom that He would kick me out, so I tiptoed around. Then I wondered about the difficult questions like, Why did God allow free will, when free will of some hurt others so terribly? Where was God in the midst of my suffering? Could God be so loving if He could sit back and watch me be abused? Where was the love in that?
So when they said God could do as He pleased, I imagined that to be like my father, who got what he wanted, when he wanted it, and then still hurt you. Or if he said he loved me, then it meant he wanted something from me and it would hurt.
I was so bitter and resentful against God for a long time, and I think it takes experience in the Kingdom of God to be able to fully trust that when God is sovereign there is a freedom in my life that is unimaginable to the ordinary mind. A freedom from bondage, a freedom from pain and hurt, and a freedom to be what God’s best for me is.
But it is not all smooth sailing for me, because often I trust for awhile, then I back away in fear. Fortunately God is patient as I learn this thing called trust.
Have a blessed evening.
Heather
Comments (17)
It’s all so hard to understand but it seems you are well on your way on the right path Heather. I guess we don’t need to understand while on this earth, we can wait for that but we do need to be ok – entrusting it all to our heavenly Father. Think of those who don’t know the Lord – they really can never be ok.
WE LIVE & LEARN TO TRUST IN GOD….. ;o) KEEP LIVIN…KEEP LEARNIN…KEEP TRUSTIN….LOVE & PRAYERS….greg <><
YES its good to know OUR GOD is patient with us…YOU have come along way HEATHER and are a beautiful person.
OUR womens group at church also is doing this study…my neighbor is going to bring the study to me when they are done and go over it with me.
I am excited I know you are being so anointed by it. Beth Moore is a wonderful woman of God who has been through so much and can relate to us well!
TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS! HUGS
God allows freewill because there really is no alternative. Without freewill, there can be no love.
Great message! God is grand! Yes, it is certainly a long, long road but OH how sweet it is to be made whole! GOD is right here all the time for us!
HAVE A BLESS WEEK!
We trust that He will not harm us…..that He only wants good for us.
Keep on keeping on, Heather!!! You WILL make it!!!!! Because He will see you thru!!!!! He loves you too much to give up on you…..
love ya!!!
beautiful entry…
may God’s grace and mercy be evident to you today.
Abuse in our lives does disfigure who God is to the victim. No wonder Satan delights in it. He does not want us to love God or serve Him. What better way to cause us to run from Him than to experience horrible injustice and pain. Justice and love just do not compute to the one who has suffered tremendous injustice and pain. Yet, because I also have been abused and struggled with the some of the same issues you do I am coming to realize what Satan means to destroy God restores. I accepted Christ 27 yrs. ago and am still being healed and restored daily. It does take time to trust and love after being so wounded. I take heart in knowing He is an eternal God so time means nothing to Him. Blessings……
After many years of being taught that God does bad things and that he allows bad things……i began to ask Him and nobody else and He revealed a lot to me {the Spirit of Truth will lead and guide you into all TRUTH} I am a Healed victm {survivor } by the TRUTH that makes us Free and Continually makes Us Free. Come and read all my posts as you get time…….Because He Lives we can face tomorrow…………………………….just me ……Marie
I agree with LSP1. It is because God love us that He allows us a free will. If we could not choose to love Him, our love would not be true. I am also learning to bear in mind that in all His ways, God is just. Whatever He does and however He does it, His way is just, loving and correct. He knows best and all things work together for our good is we love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Sof
It seems that you have learned a lot in your life. If I were to talk with you everyday and tell you my secrets and troubles and you encouraged me and spoke with me, we would be arriving at a good friendship.
If someone else came up to speak with you and made an accusation against me, you would block what they were saying because you knew me well enough to know that is not me.
God wants the intimacy with Him so that we can stay strong. Since we know Him, His movements and such, we then have a good trust of one another. Our focus as believers should be to encourage people to relationship closely a part of the process of trust.
People fee bad and condemned when they say they do not trust God. The deal is though that it is not God who is untrustworthy, it is that we have no expereince of Him to build trust on.
i, too, am doing the patriarchs study by beth moore! and my name is also HEATHER! amazing… we seem to have alot in common. caseyatbat led me to your site. i’d love to talk with you sometime. my yahoo and aim sn is southernbelle886,
I would think that being in an abusive situation would make it hard to trust anyone for a long time.God shows us through our walk in faith that he is trustworthy.I dont know why He wasnt answering your prayers when you felt you needed him in your desperate situation. Your previous question that Beth Moore asked: I trust in the sovereignity of God,he made us,He can do what He wants.I can wonder why He does things,but I believe we can always see Gods hand eventually in situations-if its our own disobediance,or His blessings,He is in control.I have learned trust in some areas,and in other areas(more for my own spiritual walk) its harder.I can trust God to answer prayers i pray for others,more than I’m willing to trust Him in certain areas of my life.
*** IT’S ABOUT 10 PM HERE IN ILLINOIS, AND I JUST GOT HOME AFTER BEING GONE MOST OF THE DAY….USUALLY, I HAVE AT LEAST ONE COMMENT OR ‘HAPPY THOUGHT’ FROM announcementman(MIKE) OUR BLOGRING AND PRAYER PARTNER MEMBER AND FRIEND….SINCE THERE WAS NOTHING FROM HIM, I WENT TO HIS SITE AND READ THAT HIS SISTER, CAROLYN, FOR WHOM WE HAVE BEEN PRAYING, PASSED AWAY.
MIKE HAD JUST BEEN DOWN TO SEE HER OVER THIS PAST WEEKEND AND HAD RELAYED TO US THAT SHE WAS FAILING…
HER 5 YEAR BATTLE WITH ALS (LOU GHERIGS’ DISEASE) IS OVER….
MIKE ASSURES ON HIS SITE THAT SHE WAS A BELIEVER AND IS NOW WITH HIS MOM IN HEAVEN. MIKE HAS LEFT HOME TO BE WITH HIS BROTHER IN LAW DURING THIS TIME OF LOSS….
PLEASE VISIT HIS SITE AND LEAVE A WORD OF CONDOLENCE FOR HIM, FOR HIS KIDS, AND FOR HIS BROTHER IN LAW AND FAMILY….MIKE HAS BEEN SO FAITHFUL TO US IN SUPPORTING THE PRAYER WARRIOR GUIDELINE AND OUR OTHER MANY, MANY REQUESTS. I KNOW THAT HE HAS BEEN A TREMENDOUS ENCOURAGEMENT TO A LOT OF US
What a beautiful post Heather. I couldn’t imagine going through what you did. You sure are a strong fighter. And isn’t it good to know that God is patient with us? Patience isn’t exactly my greatest quality, but I’m working on it! God bless you!
heather, do you have any idea of how proud i am of you for sharing your story in this manner? there are so many people who can be reached and touched by a story such as yours. perhaps a friend of a friend who just happens by here and can identify with what you went through, and can then see what you’ve become beyond it…not w/o struggle, mind you, but to know that there is hope and salvation well beyond the terror…i know that you struggle. we pray for you in this. let me encourage you deeply to continue to move forward, letting it out and letting it go and letting god use you….here is where the love is that you questioned so long ago….it is the love that you can give to someone else because of what you went through. god has safely brought you through to the other side and planned out someone that needs your life’s story to touch theirs’ to save them from the death that you were spared. you have an awesome task in front of you. and the courage of a million armies. you are a bold and brave warrior! i’m so very glad to know you and have you as part of my xanga family! god bless you, and your story…..
Hey there, much love!!!!!!!!!!1111
Getty